One Man Grand Slam

Game 1: Props If You Can Follow My Thought Process

2010-04-05T22:46:00.005-04:00

OH MY GOD BASEBALL. That essentially sums up how I feel right now. For some reason MLBtv won't let me buy a subscription right now (it keeps telling me all my info is invalid) so I must do without Dick and Bert tonight. Luckily the game is on ESPN2, and there is no way that these announcers are more annoying than the White Sox announcers. They also called Joe "Super Joe Mauer". That's acceptable to me.

1st Inning

Our new uniforms are very snazzy. They might even be considered "bangin'".
Also, that was a rather sad show at the plate by out hitters.
People need to stop giving D. Span crap for hitting his mom with a foul ball. The poor guy felt terrible!
I'm not sure what Scotty is doing here, but I don't like it.
D. Span caught that one for his mom.

2nd Inning-- 0-2 Angels

Fielding fail by the Angels-- Canada does not often get infield hits. That slow mo replay was kind of brutal...but I bet Jason Bartlett knows how it feels to not have the ball in your hand when you go to throw it.
Weaver solidly fanned Cuddy, there. Oh, Cuddy Bear.
I realize how much more I love this team now that Boof is gone, but sad that he followed me here to Boston.
I am also really excited about Jim Thome. He was one of the only White Sox that I could ever stand. This calls to mind the time he hit Red Dog in the face. And now the fact that Red Dog isn't here anymore. I wish I could say he's gone to a better place...but I don't think Cleveland counts.
Delmon, you can still hit the ball very, very far. 2-2!
But...only 2-2 for so long...Scotty, you're 17 now. You need to be able to handle this kind of pressure.

3rd Inning-- 2-3 Angels

LNP! I've missed his scrappiness. But not his fly-outs.
D. Span needs to get back into the swing of things. No pressure, bro, you're still amazing.
Orland. I like you. And I like doubles.
I forgot how sexy Joe's follow through is. Dear God, it's beautiful.
Him getting called out on strikes though....not so beautiful.
What is Torii doing in the dugout? I don't know, but I know that I would want him on my team in charades.
Scotty appears to be settling down. I approve of this.
1-2-3 inning for Scotty! About time, kid.

4th Inning-- 2-3 Angels

I've misses Justin's batting face. And love the fact that these announcers are wondering what kind of slap shot he has...even though he's a goalie.
Oh, Canada...you need to knock one out of the park tonight. Wayne Gretzky is there for you!
Cuddy...that was not what you should have done there. I don't even know what to call that.
These announcers are funny. They're no Dick and Bert, but those guys are hard to compete with. They're talking about snuggies now.
Awwww, Kubes.
I get the feeling we are having a slow start.
ESPN2 guys: Minnesota is not ALWAYS a frozen tundra. Only...sometimes. To be honest, I'd rather have the snow than the rainy non-sense I get out here in Boston.
That was close, Kendrick. None of those just-barely-fair-balls-that-Cuddy-can't-quite-get-to tonight.
ESPN2 boys think our new uniforms are also bangin', though that's not the terminology they used. Bert totally would.
Another 1-2-3 for Scotty! This is what I like to see. Now our offense should pick it up, too.

5th Inning-- 2-3 Angels

I am very touched by the fact that Weaver still writes "NA" on the mound before he starts an inning.
Delmon's on track to be my player of the game. He's pulled some pro moves tonight. And then pulls more. I love base stealing.
Productive out by J.J. Hardy. I'm glad he knows how the Twins play baseball.
LNP once again proves he is the King of Sacrifices (in a non-violent manner).
Alright, 3-3, Scotty better keep this up.
Bah, right down the middle. Well played, Aybar.
Damnit.
Oh great. Now Jesse Crain. We do not have the best relationship.
Ground ball out, I will take it.

Okay...as pathetic as it is, I need to go to bed...I hate the Pacific Time Zone.

A Long Time Coming

2010-04-05T17:33:00.005-04:00

Well, it's been...a long time since I've posted anything resembling an update. A very long time. Which might be a huge loss but I'm not entirely sure. Anyone looking at this blog would wonder what in the heck happened to the 2009 season. I could tell you-- and tell you that I didn't blog about it. Blame life and college. Now, however, my college career is nearing its end, things are blooming here in Boston, Senioritis has set in, and it's Opening Day once more.

Opening Day is better than Christmas to me. The return of baseball is the best thing ever-- it's ridiculous how much this sport can effect my emotions and my daily life. Now comes the time when I start planning social events around the Twins schedule, when I put off (more) work in order to watch the boys and spend quality time with Dick and Bert.

I will say this: I am hella pumped for this season.

Though...part of me has died because Joe Nathan, my original Twins Boyfriend is out for the season. Who's going to make us stand up and shout?

While It Feels Like A Tradegy...

2008-09-30T22:45:00.003-04:00

Well...

I am sad.

I shed tears. For the second time in my life, baseball made me cry (the first was when Kirby retired).

But this end really is not the tragedy it feels like to us right now.

This season was an amazing 163 game ride that no one could have expected or believed would happen. After losing two of our biggest stars in the off season, losing Pat Neshek in the beginning of the season, being plagued with injuries and spots of bad luck, we still managed to make it to what I would consider the play-offs.

That game tonight was a play-off game. It was an elimination that we fell just short of. And even though I am still unbelievably sad about the outcome of said game, I have to say, it was a good one. An intense end to an excellent season.

And all I really can say right now is that I am beyond proud of our team.

So, hats off to you, boys.

You gave it your all and showed everyone that you can play the game of baseball just like the big money franchises. You showed the world that no matter what, you were going to give it your all and play every game like it was the biggest game of your life. And you showed us, that no matter what happens in the off season or the regular season, that you wouldn't give up and that you believed in yourselves as a team.

Thank you.

(And let's all cheer for the Rays to effectively destroy the White Sox...)

For the next 24 hours...

2008-09-28T21:11:00.003-04:00

For the next 24 hours I plan to be the biggest Detroit Tiger fan in history. I encourage everyone to join me. Hopefully the next game the Twins play will be at Tropicana Field. Here's to hoping...

Not Cool...

2008-09-17T00:49:00.003-04:00

I know its been awhile since L and I have posted anything... and for that I apologize. But right now I need to get something off my chest, WTF TWINS?!?! At this moment I feel like we don't even deserve to be in the playoff chase, and at this rate we wont be for much longer. Remember when we were surprising everyone by winning... I vote we go back to that. Agreed?

And Joe Nathan needs a time out. Enough said.

The Good Life Is Having Baseball Players Serve You Steak

2008-08-18T13:38:00.001-04:00

Uhm, Kevin Slowey could be my bartender any day.

Watch some of the action from Morton's Steak House last night here!

Pros and Cons, Along With a Short Trade Rant [Twins 10, ChiSox 6]

2008-08-01T14:34:00.004-04:00

Well.

That was probably one of the best games I'd ever been to, from about the 4th inning on. I've decided to list The Good and The Bad about yesterdays game. So here you go.

THE GOOD

After seriously forgetting how to hit the ball on Wednesday, we've remembered QUITE clearly
The meal deal my friend and I got with our Home Run Porch tickets. I love Dome Dogs.
Brendan Harris. His two doubles made me love him even more, despite his political opinions.
Justin Morneau. That home run was gone the second he made contact with it. And it was beautiful.
Kubes.
AJ Pierzynski's complete inability to throw runners out. I love it.
Ken Griffey Jr. didn't show up at The Dome in uniform to play.
Nick Punto, playing like the Nick Punto of 2006. I love Nick Punto.
Denard drawing a walk after the awful call, then stealing 2nd.
The scary souvenir guy who gets in your face didn't come by me this game.
Gardy.

THE BAD

Getting juked out on the chips that we were supposed to receive with our Dome Dogs. Not cool.
Adam Everett. Killer, I'm glad you're back and all...but the showing last night was kind of sad. I think maybe you got back in a groove towards the end of the game (that last hit was definitely a lucky break for Chicago, it was almost down the line). Let's try and pick that up.
The awful call made by the 3rd base ump regarding Denard Span (who I have finally decided I approve of)
The drunks who would not stop throwing things onto the field. We're not Yankee fans guys, come on. We're classier than that.
The fact that Gogo seems to be having some issues hitting again.
AJ.
And Nick Swisher.

I've decided that the B.O.D. goes to Kubes for pulling us ahead of the ChiSox right when we needed it. And Kubes hasn't gotten all that much love lately.

Now. In regarding to trades... I'm still sort of surprised that Boof is still here, I thought for sure he would be traded and the Frankie called up (which, according to the Twins site, is "imminent"), but that didn't happen. I've got nothing against Boof, I'm just sort of disappointed in him right now. Poor Boof.

The 3-Way trade that sent Manny to the Dodgers still confuses me (I need thumb tacks and colored string to get it), but I am very glad it happened. Personally, I dislike Manny. He is a diva and a show boater, and throws tantrums when he has (or had) the privilege to be playing for an all-around exceptional team.

Living most of the year in Boston, right near Fenway, I am constantly surrounded by Red Sox fans. And while us Twins fans are great and wonderfull dedicated, I'm not really sure how to describe the dedication that Red Sox Nation feels towards their team. All of their team. That bit Manny said about the Sox trying to turn their fans against him...completely ridiculous. But what irks me the most was his comments that the Red Sox "don't deserve a player like [him]".

Seriously?!

I firmly believe Manny did not deserve to be playing with a team like them. I am reminded strongly of how excited Pudge is to play for the Yankees. He said it was "an honor". I feel like playing for the Red Sox would be, too.

I hope Joe Torre whips Manny into shape. I kind of love Joe Torre. He looks so much happier as a Dodger. I would be. I mean, even I was offended at how the Yankees treated him last year. The guy is pretty obviously amazing.

I also hope now Jacoby Ellsbury gets Manny's job full-time (not the whining, showboating part). But I guess Jason Bay might be up for it, too...

Oh, Hey Guys, Welcome Back!

2008-07-30T00:37:00.002-04:00

AAAAANNNNNNDDDDD... WE ARE BACK.

Man, does this feel good!

Only 1/2 a game back. I love it.

Not that I thought we were falling out of the race, but the boys were starting to look a little tired and overplayed. It made me nervous.

Especially when I thought Gogo broke his back... those were a scary few minutes of my life. But I loved last night when he went into center field in the 8th and the entire Dome got really excited. I got really excited and cheered in my basement, too.

Kevin Slowey was amazing. A complete game AND a shut out?

Spectacular.

I really love when we beat the White Sox. Like, words can't describe how much I enjoy it. Between Nick Swisher and AJ and Ozzie...it is just wonderful. Because really... they all seem like asses to me. And that means they deserve to be beaten by our nice Twins.

So, in honor of these wonderful past two games... the entire team is the B.O.D.

Will The Real Minnesota Twins Please Stand Up? ...Please?

2008-07-23T18:46:00.003-04:00

So uhm…I have a question:

Where did the Twins go?

Because surely, this cannot be them. Being swept by the Yankees? I mean—at least we split the series with them in May...

Maybe this is actually Cleveland? They’ve been on a winning streak lately. Maybe they switched with us after the All Star break. I bet it was all Grady Sizemore and Casey Blake's idea, and they used Ryan Garko to do their dirty work. They probably switched the entire team via some crazy, Star Terk-esque portal with blue lights and a big red button.

Yeah. That’s gotta be it.

Bombed in the Bronx

2008-07-22T00:47:00.004-04:00

Well that was painful... 12 to 4. The first game that I could actually sit down and watch in its entirety since before the All-Star break, and that's what I get...

Whenever I think of Sidney Ponson, I don't think of the opposing team getting the crap kicked out of them. I tend to think of the opposite. Where the hell was this guy last season when he pitched for us???? The man had a ERA of 7 when he was in a Twins uniform and no team wanted him after we let him go. What happened to that guy? The guy that made Boof look skinny and good. That brings me to a whole other topic... why do we let Boof pitch? Has any good come from it? No. Is masochism the new trend? Apparently so.

To explain today's terrible loss, L and I have come up with a theory that goes like this...

Moneypenny: Maybe the Twins all went to Central Park or something and saw the cast of Gossip Girl filming a scene and remembered how heartbroken they were after the season finale... I bet thats why Gogo went 0 for 5, he was still in shock of how big a bitch Chuck was. That explains everything...

L:...I BET THEY DID! LNP MUST HAVE BEEN IN TEARS! AND JOE MAUER, UNABLE TO FORM WORDS WHILE JUSTIN STOOD STOIC BESIDE HIM.

Moneypenny: My guess is when Dan broke up with Serena, Joe started to cry and Justin came up and gave him a big hug saying, "it's ok, let it out." While LNP just looked off into the distance wondering why Lilly married Bart. That's how exactly went down.

L: It is. I bet Gogo and Casilla were confused and went to download the first season in Spanish.

It is obvious that they're minds just weren't focused on the game today. And understandably so, no on was ready for that season finale. But I hope after a good nights rest all will be forgotten and Slowey will pitch a shutout to make up for the first game (at least that's my hope).

On the bright side, the White Sox lost as well tonight thanks to Texas (never ever thought I would say that). That still leaves us a half game behind.

The Amazingness That Is Canada

2008-07-15T00:08:00.004-04:00

Love it. I know that this will be to most people outside of Twins Territory known as the Home Run Derby that Josh Hamilton lost... BUT JUSTIN WON! And that's all that really matters to me. Way to make Minnesota--and Canada--proud.

Punto is a Super Hero [Twins 7, Tigers 0]

2008-07-04T09:46:00.002-04:00

Ok, so this is a little late but in my defense I've been fighting off a nasty case of jet lag. I got back from my trip on the 1st and less than 24 hours later I was at the dome, if that isn't team spirit I don't know what is. I was sadden by the fact that I had missed a 10 game win streak but that was erased when I watched us totally beat down the Tigers. It was amazing. My hat is off to the Twins for the awesome welcome home.

It was without a doubt the afternoon of Nicks. Nick Blackburn continues to amaze me, pitching 7 shut-out innings and only allowing 3 hits. But it was truly Nick Punto's day (I'm mean expect for that little base running error...). The man went 2 for 3 with an RBI and a walk, which makes me start to wonder if Punto from yesteryear is back. And not only was it a great day for him at the plate but also defensively he still rocks. Gotta love diving catches. The man is a super hero... seriously, he can fly. Keep up the good work LNP.

In other news, I was quite freaked out when I turned on the game Monday night and saw Denard Span... that's just not cool. Cuddy's return better happen fast.

Mums The Word...

2008-06-27T01:05:00.002-04:00

I have promised myself I won't jinx the awesomeness that we currently are right now...so, instead, I've found this for you:

Mike Lowell Second In All-Star Voting But Leads In All-Star Superdelegates

Some times, I can't express how much I love The Onion.

Big Unit and a Big Inning [Twins 7, D-Backs 2]

2008-06-20T23:24:00.005-04:00

It's been tough goings while my partner in crime is in Croatia, digging for ancient things. No one quite understands my love of the Twins like Moneypenny...but she found a tomb, so props to her.

I was lucky enough to be at the game last night, and I think my favorites parts were when Gogo ran onto the field and tripped then barrel rolled, got up laughing and kept going, and then that miraculous 6 run third inning. Really. That's all high quality entertainment right there. Priceless even.

Scotty had me pretty twitchy for most of the game, but he held his own with only one earned run. Brian Bass, too. I always feel like he gets handed really bad situations...usually courtesy of Boof. And I suppose the twitches Scotty caused me weren't all his fault...I still have NO idea where that home plate ump's strike zone was. My dad and I were very confused as we tried to call the balls and strikes. Imagine how poor Scotty felt.

I also noticed that the D-Backs are sort of the team of little brothers...there's only two of them, but still. I think Stephen Drew is a lot more adorable than JD...he just always looks angry to me. And on a side note regarding the Diamond Backs...I think Randy Johnson should grow a full-out mullet again. I feel like that would make him even MORE intimidating. And it would be funny.

B.O.D. is a tough one. I'm tempted to give it to C. Mo because he hit a homerun when I called for one. Then Gogo for barrel rolling on the field and running really fast around the bases and doing some crazy slides. But I think I'm going to give it to Scotty for his 7 strike outs and only 1 earned run. Good work, Scotty. You knew.

With the White Sox losing to the Cubs (I wonder why Ozzie hasn't started swearing again), this win puts us only 3.5 games out of first. It's almost like that one really bad stretch (like those games against said Sox) didn't happen.

I am completely okay with that.

Also, I would like yo congratulate Cuddy on the birth of his son, Casey. Now he can take his own kid to Chuck E. Cheese's instead of borrowing Red Dogs.

Kevin Slowey Would Hit That [Twins 10, Brew Crew 2]

2008-06-13T22:43:00.003-04:00

Wow.

What a way to win a game. Kevin Slowey is my favorite person right now. Between his two hits, his double, two RBI's, 8 innings of work, only five hits given up, 99 pitches... I don't even know what part was my favorite.

Needless to say, Kevin is the B.O.D. I'm glad I can finally give him one, he definitely deserves it. He had me laughing and cheering like no other.

So did Bill Hall. It was, what, 6 runs that we got on his errors? That might be wrong, but it's close enough. I feel bad for him, especially when the Brewers fans boo him...but not that bad, right now.

Kubes and Justin did their fair share this evening as well, which is always enjoyable. Gogo and Casilla decided to start their hit streaks up again (man was I sad to see those end). All in all, it was a pretty awesome game.

One thing I was NOT thrilled about was Cuddy's hand... he needs to stop hurting his right hand.

Forever.

I was glad to see that our offense came back, a few games too late, but back none-the-less. Good work, boys.

A Long Time Coming...

2008-06-12T17:29:00.002-04:00

Finally.

The Twins have optioned Juan Rincon off to Rochester, and he says he'd rather be a free agent than a minor leaguer.

I am perfectly okay with all of that.

What? We Won? [Twins 8, Tribe 5]

2008-06-12T13:56:00.003-04:00

Whoa. We won a game? Finally?

Damn right we did.

In honor of said win, I made a Brendan Harris loltwin:

And I'm giving B.O.D. honors to our favorite Canadian (though it could go to a few other people as well... Cuddy and Kubes put up good fights, I think). Good work, Justin-- I'll take multiple RBI doubles any day.

A Bit Of A Disappointment...

2008-06-09T18:02:00.004-04:00

I think it's safe to say that this entire series with the White Sox was a disappointment.

To say the least.

I didn't watch all four games in their entirety, but I saw bits and pieces of them. From what I saw, I think today's was the most disappointing. We left so many men on base. Even though we were hitting the ball (both Macri and My Favorite Republican had nice at bats), we still couldn't score the runs we needed when it counted. I didn't see what happened when the Sox caught up and retook the lead, but I'm guessing it wasn't pretty.

This entire series wasn't pretty.

Ugh.

No Laughing Matter [Twins 5, Yanks 1]

2008-06-02T19:05:00.005-04:00

As I sit and watch the pre-game for tonight's game, I realize I forgot to write a blog for yesterday's game.

My Saturday morning started out normally enough, I slept till 10-ish, when I was woken up by the ringing of my phone. Moneypenny had somehow scored tickets the days game-- in the 5th row to the right of home plate.

Obviously, the answer to "Do you want to go?" was yes.

As we drove to the dome and parked at our favorite lot, ridiculously excited about our amazing seats, it came to our attention that the parking attendant there knows us (due to a dysfunctional drivers side door). We were greeted with a "Welcome back", which I found a little bit hilarious.

Walking down the steps to our seats, counting the rows, was amazing. I had never been so close before. We could see everything.

Including Nick Blackburn's line drive to the face.

In my one moment of seriousness, I joke about taking line drives to the face a lot...

But after seeing Nick fall down onto the mound and flop down like he was dead, I will refrain from making such jokes. For a good few seconds, I really thought he wasn't getting up. If there is anything that could have ruined baseball for me, it would be Nick Blackburn dying on the mound.

I was pretty mad at Bobby Abreu, but after seeing his face on the TV replay, he looked like he felt pretty bad. I feel like he might have gone up to the mound to make sure all was well, but was too afraid that Justin would deck him...which I would have supported at the time.

Aside from that scary moment, we could see Gogo's swearing, Joe's twitching, and, after Justin's triple-with-an-error that I still refer to as an inside the park homerun, Alexi Casilla fanning him in the dugout.

On that note, Alexi Casilla is growing on me. I still wonder what happened to the Casilla of yesteryear, but I won't dwell on it.

I will upload my pictures from said game later tonight (I actually have Justin's swing from his not-technically inside the park homerun), where I will then reflect upon tonights game...which isn't going so well right now.

Damn Yankees... And I Don't Mean the Musical

2008-05-31T01:05:00.004-04:00

So, L and I decided that we needed to go to the game tonight to cheer on our boys because we've been slacking in that department... and who can really pass up on a chance to mock the Yankees. After a dinner of Jimmy Johns it was off to the Dome for, what turned out to be, some of the best play by play commentary EVER. The tone of night was set when L realized that I was wearing my Joe Mauer shirt and she was wearing her Justin Morneau shirt (honestly, we didn't plan it), we were pretty much bad asses in them.

We when got to our seats and looked down at the field one thing became very apparent...

WHY DO JETER AND A-ROD NEED TO WEAR SUCH TIGHT PANTS?!?!?

It's really not a good look. Honestly I was surprised that when they bent over they didn't rip their pants. No one needs to wear pants like that, no one. I don't care how many times you've been named MVP or how many golden gloves you have on your mantle, its just not necessary.

During the bottom of the 1st inning another question came up...

WHO IS THAT PRETENDING TO BE ALEXI CASILLA AND WHAT DID THEY DO WITH THE REAL ALEXI CASILLA?!?!?

I really don't know what to say about him, other then that I'm seriously impressed with how he's played both offensively and defensively. He's channeling 2006 season Nicky Punto... I love it. Hats off to you Alexi Casilla, way to earn your keep.

On a side note, I started writing this blog after the game on Friday night... but I guess this applies to the game last night as well. L and I are going to the game today, so expect more play by play commentary later tonight on how stud-ly the Stud is. Although, to get the tickets I have to babysit after the game... so maybe expect a blog tomorrow.

C. Mo For The Win [Twins 9, Royals 8]

2008-05-29T11:30:00.004-04:00

If I thought the LAST game was ridiculous (or cradiculoussary), last nights game was even better.

All I have to say:

C. Mo, you are B.O.D.

Hands. Down.

Now...is it just me, or does it look like he's trying to high-five Olivo?

This Game Caused The Creation of A New Word [Twins 4, Landed Gentry 3]

2008-05-28T00:16:00.007-04:00

Words cannot describe how I feel about this game.

It was crazy. It was ridiculous. It was completely unnecessary.

It was... cradiculoussary.

From Cuddy's foul ball that may have been fair (a call that I still have YET to make my mind up on), to the in the park homer, to Gogo's ridiculous fall-down at the plate, to Joe Nathan's blown save... I don't even know where to begin.

So let's start with the bad.

Joe Nathan's blown save and in the park homerun. Now this is not entirely Joe's fault...personally, I think the majority of the blame goes to Delmon Young. He needed to keep the ball in FRONT of him. Not back in the corner BEHIND him.

The look on Nick Blackburn's face when his shut-out got thrown out... it made me tear up (almost like the hug that Kevin Slowey gave him after he came into the dugout in the 9th). Words can't really describe how upset I was.

The bullpenm after that awful few minutes, was relatively solid, Joe struck the rest of the men he faced out, and with a few minor mishaps...we did alright.

Now the good.

Cuddy is clutch again.

Enough. Said.

Gogo drew another walk. I like patience at the plate.

Alexi Casilla successfully took out the Royals' 2nd baseman Esteban German in a spectacular slide.

And Finally... Nick Blackburn. Buddy, you may not officially get the shut out, but in our book here at OMGS, you most definitely did. Hands down, you get the B.O.D.

You'll get 'em next time, Blackie.

Also... Bert was cracking me up tonight.

"I've got a big toe with no toe nail, you wanna see it?"

Poor Dick.

Lammers is a winner! [Twins 9, Kittens 4]

2008-05-23T22:34:00.002-04:00

I don't think words can describe how much I love Mike Lamb, especially after his post game interview when he said that he now needs to work on that "whole base stealing thing." Amazing. Boyfriend of the day goes to Lammerz without a doubt: 1st homerun as a Twin, a triple and 4 runs scored pretty much makes him a stud. Way to be a winner.

Honorable mentions need to go to Slowey. Six shut out innings against the Tigers (...cough kittens cough...) is pretty damn good.

Mi scuzi, mi scuzi...

2008-05-23T16:13:00.012-04:00

Let me take this opportunity to apologize for the lack of blogging lately, but since I've had my 2-ish weeks of freedom and I'm now devoting the rest of my summer to research expect more... because let's face it, I'll take any excuse to stop studying. For example, I'm actually writing this from my school's library because a person can only take so much ancient Roman history.

Ok, back to the Twins...

WTF GUYS?!?!?! Did we decide now to only win a game a series now? Did I miss the memo? Remember when we were leading the division for, like, a week? I do! Those were good times. To sum up my current frustrations with the Twins, I've made up a list of "what's up with..." statements.

What's up with us being swept by Toronto? And even more so, what's up with the fact that the Blue Jays only have ONE person from Canada on the team? I feel like Matt Stairs might be really lonely. Who is going to sing the Canadian national anthem beyond the first "Oh Canada" line or add "eh?" at the ends of sentences with him? Shouldn't there be a rule that the team must have at least more than one person from the country on the team? I mean, I understand the fact that hockey is where it's at in the land to the north, but I'm sure other hockey players, like our very own MVP, have traded in their skates for cleats.
What's up with us only winning one game against Colorado? THEY SUCK THIS YEAR! This October will most certainly not be Rocktober. They're were/still are 10 games out of first and it seems like every other person is on the DL there... and we still manage to lose...
What's up with us getting lead off extra base hits and then not doing anything with them? Who thought that was a good idea? Not me. Remember when batters used to bunt JUST to move runners over? It seems like a distant magical memory.
What's up with this statement: "Bats completely haunted by Ponson"... WTF. That sentence makes no logical sense to me... I don't even think it was in English, in fact, I'm certain its not. "Ponson threw his first complete game in more than three years, holding the Twins to just one run on six hits as Minnesota fell to Texas, 10-1, on Wednesday night at the Metrodome." I just threw up in my month...
What's up with everyone going on the DL... COME ON GUYS! Punto needs to hurry up and fix his hamstring because we need him. When Gardy tells Cuddy that he might need to play shortstop, you know things are bad. I'll I know is that I miss mini-Canada, the kid was growing on me.

Let's just stop this. I'm willing to forget everything since the Red Sox series if you guys are. Here's hoping that the Tigers are still sleeping weekend.

Long Time No See...Er, Blog

2008-05-14T23:49:00.003-04:00

Let me be the first to apologize for the lack of updates recently. Both Moneypenny and I had/have finals, and I myself returned to MN on Saturday. And since returning home, have really felt like doing, well... nothing. So sorry for that.

I would also like to apologize for the losses these past two nights. I'm blaming them on myself, because I was at the last two games of the Sox series, and we won those. Again, my apologies.

Expect more updates as the days go on and I find my motivation again.

Until then...listen to this.

While at Fenway this past month, reliever Hideki Okajima came into the game and had the most amazing walk-up song ever. It is, quite literally, his theme song. And it is so freakin' catchy.

Gogo Goes [Twins 13, White Sox 1]

2008-05-08T00:28:00.002-04:00

For the cycle, that is.

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

I didn't see all of tonights game, but I saw us score 11 of those 13 runs. I love when we beat the White Sox, I really do. They're all just so cocky. Ozzie Guillen proved that the other day. I can't understand a word that man says...ever, really.

Anyways. Tonight B.O.D. was hard to pick, it was definitely between Livan and Gogo. And since the Twins havent' had a player hit for the cycle since...well...since I can remember, Gogo is IT.

This Is Probably Against The Rules...

2008-05-06T22:29:00.000-04:00

...but I have changed my boyfriend. I'm sure this will cause shunning from all directions, but really, if I'm honest... I don't love Kevin Slowey as much as I now love Gogo. It's just not fair to Kevin.

And I know of at least 2 other bloggers who love him more than I do.

There will always be a special place in my heart for Kevin, like there is for Joe Nathan and LNP.

(...on a side note, this game with the ChiSox is PAINFUL)

Nicky Wins Again!

2008-05-05T13:22:00.002-04:00

So last time we gave LNP B.O.D. just because he played center, which is fully justifiable. But yesterday, the man actually had 2 hits and not to mention, one of those hits was a huge 2 RBI double! Good job LNP! Way to stick it to the Tigers. After yesterday's game I would have been scared to go back into the clubhouse if I was playing for Jim Leyland... he did not look happy during that game. I guess thats what you get when you mess with the awesomeness that is the Minnesota Twins.

Leading the division right now?

I THINK SO!

YEAH NICKY!

2008-05-03T15:10:00.003-04:00

So, while I did not see the game two nights ago, I heard about it.

And the best part about it was LNP playing center.

Which, by default, makes him B.O.D.

Congrats, Nicky.

Ur Doin it RIGHT [Twins 3, Axis of Evil 1]

2008-04-30T13:01:00.006-04:00

So, this is slightly overdue, but I think that's alright. I had my last day of actual classes today (complete with two exams and a 10 page paper), and now there is only one final standing between me and a plane back to good ol' Minnesota. Let me tell you, I am excited. Not, however, for the snow that seems to keep falling there...

On last nights game, I couldn't have been more pleased. At first I was really sad that Bert was not there for me in my time of need, but Ron Coomer was cracking me up, making fun of Bert, and, well, Coomer. He and Dick were pretty funny together-- I'm pretty sure at one point, Dick said the words "tricked out".

I think my favorite part, however, was when Coomer made comments about Nick Swisher's facial hair-- which has just gotten weirder...and the roasting of AJ was also pretty enjoyable.

Moneypenny: AJ = sucker. Thats tonights theme.

Joe's triple and now 11-game hit streak is pretty hot, I won't lie. I just wish Justin would catch up... he seemed pretty confused when Kubes hit the homerun he should have, and when Boof sprinted off the mound to make the out at first. I think Justin's a bit disgruntled...but disgruntled Justin is pretty hot. Last night he inspired the name of a beer that I am (apparently) going to be brewing in my room: 'Smoldering Canadian'.

We finally gave Skinny Boof run support, and the smile on his face last night when Telly Hughes interviewed him was the most adorable thing ever. It finally got Moneypenny to admit that she too finds Boof adorable...

L: BOOOOOOOOOF
Moneypenny: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF
L: awwww he adorable!
Moneypenny: he is...
L: AHAH! YOU ADMIT IT!
L: I LOVE IT!
Moneypenny: FRICK
Moneypenny: i did...

I was also a fan of AJ's inability to throw people out...and his wild throws when he tried. Delmon's throw from left field was also amazing, and quite possibly worth an honorable B.O.D. mention, but really, I've got to give it to Boof.

His 104:73 Strike:Ball ratio was, and is, hot.

Congrats, Boof.

On a different note, I some how managed to score tickets to the Red Sox game tonight.

Go figure.

A wonderful way to end the last day of classes, I think. I'm hoping tonight game is more exciting than last night's game, and that I can get some cool pictures. Whether you like the Red Sox or not, a trip to Fenway is definitely a must for any baseball fan. The atmosphere of the park is just amazing. And really, there's not a bad seat in the entire park (unless you're behind one of the upper deck supports...which I was once, but if I moved my head a little bit I was fine).

Ur All Doin It Wrong

2008-04-28T13:27:00.002-04:00

I would just like to say, this is NOT directed at Gogo. Really...Gogo is usually pretty good about doin' it RIGHT (and he hasn't played the last two games).

But, really guys, this is how I feel right now:

Gogo Can Haz A loltwin?

2008-04-20T19:35:00.004-04:00

Why, yes, Gogo, in fact you can. Mostly because I say so.

That catch made my day. And so did the win.

I've also decided that in the interim period while Kevin is in rehab, Carlos Gomez is my boyfriend. I won't tally it...but he is. I love that guy. Seriously. Torii Hunter couldn't have made that catch.

And that's saying a lot.

NOTE: Carlos did in fact get the #1 Web Gem on Baseball Tonight :D

Gotta Love Extra Innings! [Twins 2, The Tribe 1]

2008-04-20T18:17:00.007-04:00

The lesson learned from today?

With Scotty's abnormally long legs and lack of torso, anything is possible. I know he didn't get the win, but 7 innings with 5 hits and 1 run against Paul Byrd is pretty darn good, especially when L has decided that Byrd is the Red Dog of the Indians--a bad ass veteran. I think he knew today. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he looked 17ish today and was giving the Indian lineup evil faces. Whatever it was, it was working.

What wasn't working? Our offense. I'm getting pretty sick and tired of us hitting the ball to a place where someone is standing... Is that necessary? I'm going to go ahead and say no. During this series we scored an amazing 5 runs... really guys? Really? Goal for next series: let's aim for scoring 10 runs. Yes? I think it's doable. Although we have to hand it to Justin today! Walk-off hits are pretty mind-blowing and not only that, he hit 3 out of the 5 RBIs this series. Good work Canada.

But sorry to say, the Repub beats you out for B.O.D., lets face it, he actually did good today... I was just happy that someone other than Canada or Kubes decided to hit the long ball. So for tying the game up to 1-1. Nicely done for a republican.

L: I love a republican... WTFFF!

Also we have to give a shout out to Gomez. What an amazing catch, Hunter couldn't have even pulled that one out (even with his new Bentley). Right after the catch a friend of mine sent me a text and I think it really sumed it up, "Gomez 4 President." I fully agree.

In other Twins news, the 4th commerical should be coming out any day now. They showed some of it during the game today. It was the best thing ever...

L: OMG! I'M CRYING! I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!
Moneypenny: I LOVE IT!

Dick and Bert loved the ad as well and later made fun of Shaggy's "monotone voice." It was wonderful.

In fact, the whole game was wonderful. Like I said, with Scotty's freakishly long legs, anything is possible.

Shut Outs and...Dreams? [Twins 3, The Team With a Racially Insisitive Name That Plays By Lake Erie* 0]

2008-04-19T21:32:00.005-04:00

While I did not see today's game (because Fox is regional...) I heard the last half of it or so. Man, was I happy. I don't like when we get shut out, but I thoroughly enjoy when we shut other people out.

I know it's the obvious thing to do, but I am giving Nick Blackburn the B.O.D. He deserves it-- throwing a shut out when you're a rookie is pretty incredible. Nick has impressed me with all his outings so far, which I'm taking to be a very good sign. Way to go, Stud.

In other news, it has become clear to me that it is most definitely time to return to Minnesota. Last night I dreamt that I was dating Johnathon Papelbon. The Amazing Irish Step Dancing Closer himself.

What. The. F?!

Don't get me wrong, I love Pap. I bought his shirt here way before any of the dancing (Summer of '07, in fact) or crazy antics because I think he is an amazing pitcher. He's right behind Joe Nathan on my list of Favorite Bad Ass Closers. But...really, it came out of no where. I haven't even seen him pitch more than once this season.

Maybe it's his Dunkin' Donuts ad where he gets slapped on the butt by a bunch of people...his face is priceless (I tried to look for a video of this, but no go...).

All I know is that if I'm dreaming of dating a pitcher, it should be Kevin Slowey...or at least someone from the Twins. Not that Johnathon was a bad boyfriend. Really, I guess I'd date Pap again...I mean, he is adorable...

*Blatantly stolen from Pulling A Blyleven

Chicka Chicka Yeah Is Right [Twins 6, Rays 5]

2008-04-16T23:02:00.005-04:00

Obviously my McLovin inspired loltwin of Joe Nathan made him want to win. Which is good, because the rest of us wanted to win, too.

I loved every minute of this game (I mean come on, they let Nicky play!), but I have to say, my favorite part was in the 8th inning when Carl Crawford slid into foul territory and caught the ball that allowed Delmon to score.

Take that, Crawford.

I think Dick and Bert referred to it as a "mental error".

The replay from last year that they showed of Crawford trying to get a triple and forcing the man held up at third out and causing a double play was also amusing. Really, he seems like such a cocky guy. So I laughed at him.

It was nice to see that Jason Bartlett is still the same old Jason Bartlett, throwing away balls and what not. Only now it's in our favor, so I guess that works out pretty nicely. I hope he and the Twins all go get Chipotle now. He can bring his new BFF, Akinori Iwamura. I'm sure it will be good times.

Joe Nathan was amazing as ever. I'm loving his 0.00 ERA. A lot. And since I already love Joe Nathan (a lot), it just makes it even better. He did this great little chuckle when Jason stole 2nd on him and sort of shook his head. I loved it.

The B.O.D. for today is a tough decision. For me it falls between two players: GoGomez and Joe Mauer.

Joe went 3-for-4, scored 2 runs, and also threw 2 men out at second.

GoGo went 2-for-4 with 2 stolen bases.

I admit I'm partial to GoGo, mostly because I think he's adorable and he's helping me with stolen bases in my fantasy league. Brendan Harris, my favorite republican, was also considered for getting Dlmon into scoring position in the 8th... but I think I'm going to have to give it to Joe. I love when people get thrown out trying to steal, and batting .500 in a game is pretty hot.

So, Joe Mauer, you get to be B.O.D. today, your first of the 2008 season.

Joe Nathan Is McLovin

2008-04-16T17:04:00.005-04:00

I really don't have much to say about these past two days...other than that they were relatively disappointing. Who gives up 8 runs in 3 innings?

We do, of course.

I don't know if I want this "Let's-lead-all-game-then-give-up-mad-runs-and-then-lose-by-one" Twins team. Not again. Last year we were so unbelievably pro at losing by one run. I've have enough of that game.

I'm hoping we turn this around tonight. Even though I hate to be mean to Jason Bartlett. My sister was dying to go to the game tonight, because she loves Jason Bartlett. There is a life size poster of him in her room. I won't lie, I'm jealous. I've got a Justin Morneau poster...but it's not life size. That would just be too much awesome for me.

So, in hopes for a Twins win tonight, have a loltwin:

Because Joe Nathan has totally seen 'Superbad', and he is most definitely dancing and/or singing here...

"Lets let the Wild win tonight guys!"

2008-04-14T22:35:00.006-04:00

So... tonights game... yeah.... not a lot to say.

My theory-- I think the RedDog-LNP think-tank came up with the idea that hey, only one Minnesota team should really win tonight. So the Twins, in their respect for the Wild (mostly fueled by Justin's Canadian-ness) lost tonight in hopes that the Wild will win. I don't know if this is true or not but it's what myself, and L, are going with.

Also, I think both L and I want to confess something... we might have slightly transfered the Suck from the Tigers to the Twins... only slightly though. It was all Pudge's fault, I mean, if you're going to have that nickname expect to get made fun of...

L: If Jim Leeland yelled at me, I'd cry.
Moneypenny: Me too.
L: lol "and he just let 'em have it after the game" I just picture like the team sitting around and looking really dejected
Moneypenny: Pudge probably cried.
L: He so did.

L: Pudge will comfort him. I picture Pudge like a shorter, fatter version of Mike Redmond.
Moneypenny: lol yeah pretty much.

L: Why is Ivan Rodriguez's nickname 'Pudge'?
L's Dad: Because he's a little wub.
L: Burnnnnn!!!!
Moneypenny: NICE! I like that explanation!

Really the question is... WHO HAS THE NICKNAME PUDGE?!?!?! WHY?!?!? His name doesn't even have a P in it...

These comments were followed by a solo homerun and a two run triple... frick! Also in our running commentary tonight were a few comments about Clete "Who Has A Redneck Name" Thomas and how Bobby Seay needs to stay away from Little Nicky Punto because he might eat him. These were not proud moments looking back (as I'm sure L would agree with me)...but let's be serious, they were true comments... Honestly it's not like we're lying.

On a side note, L and I are both obsessed with Magglio Ordonez's hair. Holy crap that hair is silky smooth, HOW DOES HE DO IT?!?! And as L pointed out--the man must be the envy of the clubhouse. I think I might need to know what conditioner he uses. When the Tigers come to the Dome I'll be sure to ask him.

So our comments were not completely negative. And I'll be the first to admit that I didn't care when that first run score, it did break a 25 scoreless inning streak for them and I felt bad. But... THE TWINS WOKE UP THE TIGERS!!!! I hope all the other teams in the league don't hate us.

Pay Back Is A Bitch [Twins 12, ChiSox 5]

2008-04-10T00:02:00.005-04:00

Words fail me at how awesome the AL Central was tonight (minus the White Sox, obviously).

The Tigers finally got a win. I'm hoping they won't be so angry when they face us now that the finally have a nice 7-2 victory under their belt. My room mate and I went to dinner at the Unos in Kenmore square tonight (generally not the best idea when there is a game) and I wore my Papelbon shirt (because I ran out of Twins shirts...clearly it is time to do laundry) and I saw some Detroit fans. Two of them were seated next to us, actually. I wanted to reach out and offer some AL Central support, but as I was in a Red Sox shirt, they might've thought I was mocking them.

The Royals continue to take the AL by storm. Beating the Yankees 4-0. I love it. That's pretty much all I can say.

And finally...the Twins. I would personally like to request many more steam rollings of the White Sox. I was slightly disappointed at the beginning of the night because I had to watch the White Sox broadcast. They are slightly racist. I did not like it. They were talking about Gogo and how he is the "tallest Gomez" around.

Moneypenny and I had a running commentary of the game, and our reaction to that went like this:

Moneypenny: oh my god
Moneypenny: can they say that?
L: i don't think so
L: i hope he steals on them
Moneypenny: i hope he steals HOME on them

Seriously. They sort of redeemed themselves later by saying that Bert deserves to be and WILL be in the Hall of Fame... Gogo also showed them how much of a bad ass he is by flying around in center field and making amazing catches.

I also really enjoyed the 2.1 innings that Danks pitched. I won't lie, I took a lot of pleasure out of those awful rather brutal innings. Not that it got much better for the ChiSox...

Aside from some rather lame homeruns tonight, Scotty appeared to know what he was doing. He was nice enough to get me 7 strike outs for my fantasy team. Good work, Scotty. He had some good moves too.

Like when he threw out Juan Uribe:

L: take that-- you just got thrown out by a 12 year old

Moneypenny also made an interesting observation about Scotty...

Moneypenny: Scotty has really long legs and a short upper body

It's true. I'd never noticed it before, I was too distracted by him looking like a 12 year old boy. As the game went on though, I got significantly weirded out.

Not, however, as weirded out as I am by whatever the heck Nick Swisher has on his face...

L: WTF IS ON HIS FACE
Moneypenny: I KNOW
Moneypenny: nastyness?
L: pretty much
Moneypenny: hes so ugly
Moneypenny: he doesn't look right
L: i know
Moneypenny: there is something really odd about him
L: i know
L: i just dont get it.
Moneypenny: me either

Even towards the later innings, we still had no idea what was on his face.

Moneypenny: WHAT IS THAT?!?!?!
L: I DONT KNOW
L: WHY IS IT BLONDE
Moneypenny: DOES HE THINK THATS COOL?!?!?!
L: something died on his face

After much consideration, however, we finally figured out why exactly Scotty gave up a homerun to Swisher (the others we really have no explanation for)...

L: i think scotty gave up the HR
L: because he was too distracted by whatever died on swishers face
Moneypenny: lol YEAH!!
Moneypenny: that was it

And of course, the most epic part of the game was Kubes' Grand Slam. Beautiful.

Moneypenny: KUBES!!!!!!!
L: BASES LOADED
L: KUBES
L: LETS GO
L: this is what
L: the 3rd time the bases have been loaded?
Moneypenny: i think so
L: maybe 4th?
L: thats what i think
Moneypenny: yeah me too
Moneypenny: KUBES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PAY BACK IS A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
L: GRAND SLAMMMMMM!

Moneypenny and I have a special place in our hearts for Kubes. We met him when we met LNP, and he was really shy. It was adorable.

In case no one could figure it out, Kubes is B.O.D. today. You can't get much hotter than a Grand Slam.

Also...I'm really sad that Lammers got hurt tonight....he's sorta like my infield boyfriend...

Lets hope we repeat this all tomorrow. But maybe with a bigger run deficit...

Not Really Twins News...

2008-04-08T23:55:00.002-04:00

Mostly because there isn't a whole lot to report... I really wanted us to win Monday so I could give Lammers B.O.D. but alas, it was not meant to be. Maybe next time, Mike.

I would also like to address Sideshow's last performance... GRAND SLAM?! REALLY SIDESHOW?! WHAT THE HECK?! SINCE WHEN DO YOU DO THAT?!

That was pretty much my reaction to that. Then I felt relieved that he and his 40.50 ERA are not on my fantasy team... Sorry, Moneypenny.

In other news, I would really like to know...

WHAT THE FRICK IS UP WITH THE TIGERS?!

I mean, I know they're our rivals, but I like them more than, say...the White Sox.

It was the Red Sox home opener today (I braved Kenmore square in a Delmon Young shirt to deposit a check...I think the fact that I was a large, bat-throwing man kept them from hustling me) and the Tigers lost yet again.

0-7.

Didn't they go to the World Series two years ago? Aren't they "the team to beat in the AL"?

Nope. Apparently not.

Apparently that's the Royals...which I won't lie, I enjoy. They're like the perpetual sleeper team.

But while watching the Sox game today, Jim Leeland just looked so, well... sad. And for an old baseball manager, he's pretty adorable, and I felt bad.

They should win a game sometime soon.

...then we can sweep them next week.

In the meantime, have a loltwin:

3 Run Homers Are Hot [Twins 6, Royals 4]

2008-04-06T14:27:00.006-04:00

I was out all day yesterday (from about 4:30 am to 12:00 am...) and I did not see any of the amazing game yesterday. I did get text message updates though, and the 6-4 win was wonderful.

Almost as wonderful as Justin's 3 run homer.

B.O.D.?

Obviously.

Oh Canada...he's so adorable when he smiles. This B.O.D. also puts my sister on the board for the B.O.D. tally. Nice work, Muffin.

Scotty Might Know...

2008-04-04T22:45:00.005-04:00

Tonight was the night of amazingness and to celebrate the amazingness I think a list needs to be created...

Justin finally decided to hit the ball into a gap for a RBI double.
Gomez with yet another amazing game. Fastest man in baseball without a doubt. 2 hits and 2 stolen bases and a run scored!
Everett dropped the suicide squeeze play to score the go ahead run! He's not nicknamed Killer for nothing. It was amazing and I think we need to do them more often just for the coolness. And as L pointed out while watching the game, they're "sexy".
Scotty had an amazing comeback after a rough start. Leading me to believe that maybe he does know... And how bad ass is it that he totally dominates the Royals, 4-0 record now and we can forget about that almost perfect game last season!
Nathan got his second save this season! And, of course, in in typical Joe Nathan fashion made it suspenseful.
Nicky Punto came in during the 8th inning and of course schooled everyone and their mother on how to play third!
Lammers hit a double right down the 1st baseline!
Mauer went 2 for 4 with an RBI and a run scored. Hot.
Tolbert is a mini Justin. Too bad he's not from Canada too, but you can't win them all.
Although technically this wasn't the same game, Liriano struck out 8 in his first minor league start and throw 82 pitches... bad ass. I'll be back up here in no time.

On a sad note... Cuddy is heading for the DL... frick!

"Twins right fielder Michael Cuddyer left Friday night's game in the third inning with a dislocated right index finger. He was taken to Hennepin County Medical Center for X-rays. The injury occurred when Cuddyer slid headfirst into third base after hustling from first to third on a Justin Morneau RBI single. Cuddyer dove for the bag and appeared to run his hand into Royals third baseman Alex Gordon, who was guarding the bag."

Cuddy, did you not learn your lesson from last year???? I guess not. Get better soon because right field isn't the same without you.

The Night of Nicks [Twins 0, Angels 1]

2008-04-02T22:22:00.008-04:00

Well, even though I didn't see most of the game, and even though we lost (on an unearned run, too!), I still think some B.O.D. honors need to be given out.

And quite obviously, those honors go to Nick Blackburn.

What. A. Stud.

I had my doubts about him being in the rotation, but I think it's safe to say he earned his spot. And he most definitely earned B.O.D. Six strike outs in your first Major League start?

Hot.

The other Nick that needs addressing is Nick Punto. When I found out he was in the line-up I sent Moneypenny a very excited text message (and then dubbed tonight 'The Night of Nicks'), and I have to say, I'm proud of him. I didn't see his hit, but I saw his flying in the 9th. I'm glad he's still got his superpowers.

I'm really sad that MLB TV doesn't let me watch the post game...I wanted to see them interview Torii and then to watch Bert makes plays in the field wearing dress pants... I was told Torii said that playing the Twins in front of people he loves is the hardest thing he's ever done, and that Nick Blackburn is "going to be something special".

It's hard for us, too, Torii. We (well, most of us) still love you, and appreciate everything you did for us while you were here. I was happy for you when you got your first hit tonight (and even happier nothing became of it) and I wish you the best of luck in Anaheim...except when you play the Twins, of course.

Home Opener 2008... About Time Baseball Started Again!

2008-04-02T13:30:00.017-04:00

Ok, so sorry this is a bit late but I was in no state to write this thing after the game on Monday and homework overtook me on Tuesday, but I promise it will be worth the wait.

After about a 20 minute walk in the snow in the wind tunnel known as Minneapolis we finally arrived at the Dome, looking like we all had just taken a shower with our clothes on... but it was worth it. BASEBALL IS BACK.

I came to the realization that night walking to our seats, that I actually missed the dome--I missed the whole atmosphere: the over priced food and drinks, the drunken fans, the nasty off white color of the dome's roof and, I hate to say this, but I actually missed the smell of dome dogs... I never said it was a good realization. But, if any lesson was learned from opening day its this... THE NEW BALLPARK NEEDS A RETRACTABLE ROOF! Let's face it, I'm big enough fan to sit through a snow storm, rain storm or the freezing cold to see the boys play but opening night was ridiculous. Now that I've gotten that out of my system, I can move on...

After the ceremonially first pitch, the reading of the rosters and national anthem they were finally done and... BASEBALL STARTED! I was fully impressed by Livan Hernandez and especially when I learned that he never topped 85 mph (on a total side note, this also settles an argument I've been having with certain people. They say that you have to be topping out at 92ish mph not to get killed in this league, I say its all about location and changing speeds... who's right now suckers!). I'll admit that I was a little reluctant about the whole Hernandez thing because the little (and by little I mean 330+ pounds, Boof was a twig last season compared to him) Ponson experiment. I'm looking forward to seeing what Hernandez will bring to the team this year.

I was really happy and yet really sad to see Torii Hunter... I was very confused by these feelings. I did love the warm welcome he received from the fans (myself and my friends included, it really isn't his falt he's not playing for us, if I was him and was low-balled by the Twins I probably would have left too) and a class act deserves just that. Every time we cheered for him, he raised his hat and touched his chest--it pretty much almost made me cry. I still can't picture him in any other uniform... I still can't believe he's gone, even after seeing him play for another team.
And on another side note, I'd like to address what some other blogger said about them being glad that Juan Rincon hit Torii with a pitch (I believe they said, "Juan Rincon: International Bad Ass"). WHO SAYS THAT?!?!? I truly believe that he didn't deserve to get hit, this is not A.J. Pierzynski or Carl Crawford or A-Rod-- IT'S TORII HUNTER! He warrants a bit more respect than that. No offense or anything, but the statement didn't settle well with me. Hunter spent the last 11 years playing his heart out for the Twins. Even if you're mad that he left and signed with another team, respect what he did for the Twins while he was here.

In other news, HOW IMPRESSIVE WAS GOMEZ! Two hits, two stolen bases and a walk with a run scored! Whole lotta! I know that these days will be mostly be few and far between but they're going to be amazing when they happen. This kid is going to be a superstar if he continues this way, it's going to be great. The picture was from when Gomez scored on Joe Mauer's single, what a way to start out the season.

The awesomeness that is Pat Neshek. Three strike outs! I think so.

Joe Nathan! What a guy, what a guy. First save of the season, hopefully many more to follow.

Cuddy and Gomez playing catch!

Delmon Young! I'm really glad that we finally found someone to hold down the fort in left. He's going to be a fun player to watch.

Joe Nathan schooling the Angels!

VICTORY!

Well that's it for now, but I'm sure there will be a post soon about Nick Blackburn's start tonight... who L has already claimed to be the "new Twin's stud", lets hope she's right.

Take That, Everyone.

2008-03-31T22:20:00.003-04:00

And they said we'd suck this season.

Granted, it's only the first game of the season, but what an amazing game it was. I gave in and bought a months worth of MLBtv just so I could hear Dick and Bert and get the pro-Good Guys bias. And oh man, was it worth it.

Moneypenny was at the game, so I'm hoping for a wonderfully detailed description of the experience (and the snow).

But I would just like to go right ahead and make Go Go the B.O.D.

Good work, kid.

Hi-Lights Is A Killer...?

2008-03-26T13:36:00.005-04:00

I have marked in my datebook with red pen the day I will be at my first Twins game of the '08 season. And what do you know, they're playing the Red Sox. I'm counting down the days.

Seriously.

Nothing much to report here, but I would like to point out this blog post by Phil Miller-- it made my day.

All of it.

I am unbelievably pumped for this new Twins ad with the pitching staff. I love (most of) our pitching staff. Our pubs department is just raw genius. I always show people here the ads from last year, and I remember my boss was so sad that the Sox didn't do cool ads.

Twins 1, 2007 World Series Champs 0.

My favorite part of that blog was the blurb about Adam Everett's new nickname. The Punto-Redmond Think Tank. Seriously? I love it.

Lammers' response to Phil's question about Everett having a nickname with the Astro's was classy too.

So did Everett have a nickname with the Astros? “Yeah,” Lamb told us. “I think it was ‘Adam.’ "

Lammers is a winner. I love him more and more as the days go by. Carlos Gomez, too. Really, all these new guys are growing on me-- even if we don't know how they feel about Chipotle.

Justin Morneau, by the way, is such a 15 year-old boy (this won't make sense if you don't read the Miller blog linked above).

...If 15 year-old boys won MVP titles and everything...

Easter W [Twins 3, Orioles 1]

2008-03-23T22:27:00.002-04:00

Happy Easter.

But more importantly, Happy Twins Win.

And even more importantly...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MONEYPENNY!

You're legal now. And you got Twins Bobbleheads. Way to be a winner.

I listened to the majority of the game today and I was so proud of Franchise. Scoreless innings are hot. Which makes him B.O.D.:

I really enjoyed hearing Dan Gladden say that Daniel Cabrera is "really just terrible". It made my day.

In other news, Hi-Lights apparently cut his hair. I am hoping that it is still hi-lighted...

The best thing ever to come out of Minnesota...

2008-03-18T17:19:00.005-04:00

It's spring break and although the first part of it kinda (really) failed... my ability to travel to Florida does not seem to exist for certain reasons that will remain unnamed. Therefore, I was sadly unable to join my partner in crime until Sunday in Boston... where strangely enough it was colder than St. Paul...

Earlier today our wanderings brought us to none other than Fenway. We then entered the Red Sox team store... it was overwhelming. I was scared. Imagine the Twins team store in Roseville and multiply it by at least 15... it was huge, I thought I was going to get lost. There was stuff everywhere, you could find any kind of shirt, pants, shorts, any type of clothing with Red Sox written all over it. It was pretty much any Red Sox fan's heaven... It made L and I realize that this is what the Twins need and we're totally willing to work at this new Twins superstore (because the people that worked at the Red Sox one were bitchy and we don't want the Twins store to be the same way).

L and I did buy Red Sox shirts--this does not effect our Twins loyalty, L just has a big thing for Ellsbury and Coco is my best friend. I believe the conversation went something like this....

L: What shirt are you going to get?
Me: COCO! (no hesitation what so ever)

I would have loved if that man came and played for the Twins, not only does he have an amazing name but he's a damn good center fielder too... I hope he finds himself a new home where he can play everyday.

In other news... Joe Mauer is God this spring hitting .458! WHOLE LOTTA! The best thing to come out of Minnesota? Joe Mauer (and the Mighty Duck trilogy).

Can You Do The Can Can?

2008-03-16T23:33:00.003-04:00

Ok. Moneypenny and I have way too much fun with Jib Jab...

Don't send a lame eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

What Is Love?

2008-03-16T23:16:00.002-04:00

Love is taking the team roster photos of some of your players and making them into break dancing Jib Jab cartoons...

Don't send a lame eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

Of All The Things I Love... [Twins 11, Philies 2]

2008-03-15T18:56:00.007-04:00

I really love when we decide to win.

First the Pirates yesterday, now an amazing 11-2 win over the Philies. I am so down with another win streak. I was a little worried after the Yankees killed it (and on my birthday, no less)...but no longer.

I was at the game yesterday, it was a lot of fun. There were a lot of Pirates fans around me, but that was okay. Also, no one cheered for Mike Lamb when I was at the game...so I did. Real loud. I love Lammers. And today he deserved it. Today, it seems like everyone deserves a good long cheer.

Kevin Slowey had five strike outs, one walk, one run, and two hits over four innings.

Glen Perkins and the rest of our pen gave up a combine one run.

Carlos Gomez went 3 for 4. He hit a two run homer and stole 2nd twice. [GIVE THIS KID THE JOB, PLEASE!]

Little Nicky finally got some more hits-- two. One of which was a two run triple. Triples are hot, Nicky, and two run triples are even hotter. He stole 2nd, too. Then made it to 3rd on a wild pitch.

The B.O.D. is a hard choice today. But, I think I'm going to give it to Nicky. It's about time he started hitting the ball again...

So, congrats on a Pre-Season B.O.D., Nick.

Let's see more of this.

I'm back to Boston in the morning, so I'll have more Spring Training pictures up in the next few days. Look forward to some non-blurry shots of Boof Lite, LNP, and pretty much the rest of the team.

Oh-- I've also given Adam Everett a nickname. 'Hi-Lights'.

See the previous post for an explanation.

Also...I love this video of the boys reading the haiku's that were written about them. Really, I can't pick a favorite. Boof probably takes the cake, Joe and Justin are both adorably hilarious, TK is a winner, and Kevin looks so serious...awwww.

Greetings From Sunny Florida...

2008-03-13T23:18:00.021-04:00

Sadly, since Moneypenny's last post, the losing streak has continued. Despite that, I am content. Why? Because I'm in Florida, and I got to witness the glory of Spring Training on Tuesday-- and will again tomorrow morning.

I have to say the coolest thing was watching BP and listening to Gardy joke around. I love Gardy. Hearing him go "Oh, my bad!" to the boys just made me love him more.

Hammond Stadium is, I think, a pretty nice facility. It's not too huge, as I imagine Legends Field is, but it's not too small, either.

The practice fields, from the perspective of the above picture, are located behind me. There are three fields (if I recall correctly) aside from the one in the stadium, the back ones used to minor league camp, I think.

This was taken from the outer deck of Hammond Stadium. If you look closely, you can see some minor leaguers doing jumping-jacks in the distance.... and then, another shot of the interior...

I watched the BP for a while (mostly I was waiting for a good opportunity to get a picture of Kevin Slowey, who was the acting ballboy)...

...saw Dick come by and chat up Alexi Casilla (no Bert though, much to my mother's dismay)...

...saw Boof Light in the flesh, even though it was from a distance...sorry, I know it's blurry...

...saw LNP in the cages, hitting off a tee...

...Sideshow was really nice to the fans waiting for the team outside the field, he came over right away and was all smiles...

...watched the boys warm up...

...decided Adam Everett totally hi-lights his hair...

...watched a nicely tanned Joe Mauer catch one of the two Ceremonial First Pitches...

...and then, of course, I saw the game.

The catch Craig Monroe made in the early innings was great. Nicky was running for it, and made it all the way out to right field, then jumped away at the last second as Monroe dove.

Let me tell you: it was good to see baseball again.

I have more pictures, but I can only mess around with Bloggers weird set up for so long...that, and I need to get to bed so I can drive back and see more baseball in the morning. Hopefully, our losing streak will end against the Pirates...

On a side note, the Rays-Yankees fight was epic. Those Girls capture it nicely, and so does the actual video from MLB.com... I like watching Jason Bartlett run up and try and stop it all. Good effort, Jason-- really.

End of 7 Straight...

2008-03-09T22:51:00.006-04:00

Ok, so the streak is over. But come on, 7 straight! I can't complain about that. At least we only lost by 2, not like how the Royals were owned by the Cubs 13-1... ouch.

But in more important news...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY L! You're not a teenager anymore! Not going to lie... that worries me...

But, in the spirit of giving, this one is for you...

WHOLE LOTTA!

Split Squad Domination [A-Twins 7, BoSox 2 and B-Twins 4, Toronto 0]

2008-03-07T21:40:00.006-05:00

And people say we're going to suck this season.

First off, I did not listen to the entire game. I heard the first few innings of the BoSox game (Clay Bucholz fails-- how do you hit someone on the first pitch?! ...and bad job, Sideshow. They may be Red Sox, but that doesn't mean you have to hit them) and was so glad that Franchise pitched like he hadn't been on a year long break. I mean, sure he wasn't in top form-- but I'd say, for your first start in a year, two hits, one walk, and no runs after Tommy John surgery is pretty good.

The back-to-back home runs courtesy of Canada and Craig Monroe were nice, too. Nick Blackburn also gets a high-five for a stellar performance. I'm also falling in love with Lammers-- which is Gardy's new nick-name for Mike Lamb. Gardy is so hard NOT to love.

Glen Perkins and Phil Humber were also pretty soild versus Toronto. Carlos Gomez decided to stop being a nub-cake and got two hits, didn't lose any balls, and stole another base.

Since the games were split squad today, I'm going to go ahead and just give the B.O.D. to Franchise. C'mon, he's earned it. He gets to be a loltwin now, too. Congrats, Frankie.

(Scottie, I love you, I promise...)

Tomorrow morning I pack it up and head to Florida to see my grandparents... and two see two Spring Training games! I don't know the internet situation down there, but expect pictures and a joyful update of the beauty of Fort Meyers and the Twins. Moneypenny will be joining me on Thursday, so if you see two girls at Hammond Stadium wearing shirts that say 'SIDESHOW' on the back... just shout 'LOLTWINS' or something.

Here's hoping for some awesome Spring baseball.

First Pitch...Hits?

2008-03-07T13:07:00.002-05:00

So, the game has just started, I'm waiting excitedly for The Franchise to come out and just own the Red Sox...and the VERY FIRST PITCH HITS DERNARD SPAN. Bad job, Clay Bucholz.

AND he just stole 2nd.

That's what you get, Red Sox.

PS: Who loved that game yesterday? I did. So did Those Girls-- who especially loved Matt Marci.

Once More, We Triumph Over Evil [Twins 7, NYY 5]

2008-03-06T00:38:00.003-05:00

I loved today's game. The announcer's weren't as pro-Yankee as I expected-- one admitted to being a Red Sox fan, and apparently went past Steinbrenner with Sox apparel on. I thought that was a good one. My roommate is also a Yankee fan. It was nice to go to dinner and tell her "Haha, we owned you!".

Delmon Young continues to impress me, and I'm starting to find him slightly adorable. And Garrett Jones, who I have always found adorable, and something like a dark haired Justin Morneau, really impressed me. That two run homer was beautiful. Not so beautiful, however, was Joba Chamberlain nailing Matt Tolbert in the ANKLE. THE ANKLE! I winced when I saw that. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who found the timing of the hit-by-pitch sketchy-- Gardy went out and gave that young boy a look.

I think Joba is adorable in his own right, even if he is a Yankee (I mean, his name is Joba...like Joba the Hutt...who isn't lovable at all, but any ways...), but I think he might have some anger issues... I remember last year when the Yanks were here at Fenway and he threw two balls past Kevin Youkilis's ear. Kevin Youkilis, by the way, looks like a convict. No offense, or anything.

Needless to say, Joba was ejected. All these close calls and hits don't sit well with me, especially when they are against our nice boys...I guess I would like to say I'm glad Joba is a Yankee. We don't hit people in the ankle, or throw balls past their ears.

That being said, B.O.D. honors go out to Garrett Jones for his two run homer. He gets to be a loltwin now, too.

In Honor of Another Victory...

2008-03-03T18:02:00.004-05:00

...you get a loltwin.

The victory, by the way, was 8-6 over the Reds. I fell asleep listening to the game earlier when the boys were winning, and I woke up and they were losing, so I freaked out and went to the gym...and then we came back and won.

I saw this picture of Kevin Mulvey and immediately decided I like him. And I also know that this is the Heisman trophy pose, but come on... it could totally be breakdancing.

B.O.D.

I'm also awarding Carlos Gomez his first B.O.D. Stealing two bases is awesome. And I know Alexi Casilla did it, too, but I'm stil in awe of Gomez' on target throw from CF to get Dustin Pedroia out at home...that, and all I heard of the game really was Gomez' stealing... Those Girls have a much more deserving and well thought out B.O.D., I admit.

Wait-- what? We won? 8-2?

2008-03-02T15:48:00.003-05:00

Yeah, that's right. Our farm system can hold it down.

I should go stand outside Fenway and laugh, yelling something ridiculous like "'07 World Series champs WHAT?!" but that would probably get me beaten up, and severely interfere the studying I have to do. In my head though, and maybe a little bit out loud, I am laughing.

I was pretty impressed with most of the game, we got good hits (even LNP got one!), got on BASE, pitched wonderfully (where is Shaggy's scruff, though?), and hey, we won.

Really, I don't have much else to say. And the entire team is the B.O.D. today. They really just all win.

Red Dog

2008-02-29T23:29:00.003-05:00

I don't know if that's the best caption, but Red's face is priceless.

Well that was...

2008-02-29T22:06:00.005-05:00

...somewhat of a let down.

I don't know what I was expecting, but it was a little bit more than 8-3, Sox. Granted, the Sox are the WS Champs, and they do have an exceptional team who were all together all of last year... but still.

I was very (happily) surprised at Skinny Boof. Really surprised. I actually think he's cute now! And, even though he only pitched 2 innings, looked pretty good. Kevin Slowey was shaky, but I still love him. What was up with Joe Nathan though??? The two Sox announcers referred to him as "Joe Nathan, The Very Good Closer", which I am definitely going to start using. They also complimented Nick Punto when he made nice plays, which I appreciated. They were really annoying last year, I guess they've toned it down.

They really enjoyed using the phrase "A different looking Twins team", and mentioned Johan at least 5 times. I guess that really can't be helped though, especially since one of them was very much for Johan going to Boston.

Things I Enjoyed:
- Delmon Young. Good start. I like him a lot, and I'm glad he is Good At Baseball.
- Carlos Gomez and his amazing throw from CF to Mike Redmond to get Dustin Pedroia out at home. It was beautiful. He was very quick, too. I say give him the job.
- The fact that, based on the pre-game show about the Sox down in Ft. Meyers, it looks like the Twins are better golfers. Dustin Pedroia was pretty funny, and had trouble choosing clubs: "I don't even know what to use here...pitching wedge? I'll use the 'P'."
- Hideki Okajima, even though he is a Red Sock. Apparently his splitter is called the 'Oki Doki', and now he has a new, very secretive pitch called the 'Doki Doki'. You can bet I will be following that one. I liked him a lot last year and definitely felt that no one expected anything of him when he came over-- he seemed sort of like an add-on to Daisuke Matsuzaka. But he made the All-Star Team, and has proven reliable. He's pretty adorable, too.
- Brian Buscher. Nice HR, it was a pick up we needed. He made some good plays at 3rd too, which are always appreciated.

Lastly, in the 9th, when I admit I wasn't really paying attention anymore, someone who I do not know knocked in two runs. I apologize to him, and also tell him: "Good job."

All in all... the game was pretty disappointing. Here's hoping we can just own them on Saturday.

Game MVP: Brian Buscher. Because really... we don't have anyone else...and I don't know who the other guy was...

FINALLY!

2008-02-29T13:10:00.003-05:00

As of yesterday, the Twins officially started Spring Training with a 6-1 loss to the Reds.

So it goes...

As it was only the first game, in the SPRING no less, I'm doing my best not to freak out. Individually, I think all the boys did pretty well. I didn't hear all of the game, as GameDay Audio had some serious beef against me yesterday, but I will be able to watch tonights game out here since the Twins are playing the Red Sox. I really dislike the NESN announcers, but sometimes they show Dick and Bert, so I guess I'll be alright. I'm a little too excited for this game.

I am eagerly awaiting this new and improved Skinny Boof, as well as Kevin Slowey. AND MIKE REDMOND. He has always been a favorite of mine (seriously, how can you NOT love Mike Redmond?!) and he's always so fun to watch. I feel like he could do anything. For a long time, Moneypenny and I thought he should be our new CF-- he would totally climb the baggy and steal HR's from unsuspecting opponents. His undying support of Nick Punto is beyond adorable, and really, any man who takes BP naked is just awesome by definition.

Also, everyone, check out the new and improved Twins Territory site! They have a lot of cool new features, not all of which I've messed around with, but I've created a user/blogger profile. Hopefully once school calms down later this week I'll be able to fiddle with it all.

Not ANOTHER one...

2008-02-26T18:48:00.003-05:00

Since I don't have any free time at the moment, my posts have been reduced to mostly loltwins only. But I think that's okay. I will say though that I am VERY GLAD that Frankie will soon be in Florida.

Hopefully, the man is still prodigy material...

In somewhat Twins-related news, I took a nap the other day and had a dream that Michael Cuddyer was my Calculus TA.

He was a really good TA, patient and everything. In Dream Land, I understand multivariable calculus. Cuddy's amazing.

Gee, think I'm ready for baseball to start?

In honor of such a pleasant dream, today's loltwin is none other than Cuddy Bear himself:

As you should, Cuddy.

Watch Your Back loltwin

2008-02-24T00:55:00.000-05:00

Couldn't resist.

Brownie Points, and a loltwin

2008-02-23T02:05:00.003-05:00

I would really like to say that as the days pass, I am becoming a huge fan of Delmon Young.

I get the distinct impression that Carl Crawford (who I have a decidedly negative impression of) wants to throw down (little does he know not to mess with Minnesota), and Delmon is doing a spectacular job of brushing the whole thing off with dignity and professionalism.

"I'm not worried about anyone else's comments," Young said. "They've got their own stuff in [Rays camp] and we've got our own stuff down here. All I can worry about is these 25 guys and the front office over here."

Carl didn't like that much, and responded (partly) with this:

"...And second of all, I have no problem with coming directly to his face and telling him whatever it is he needs to know. Nobody’s waiting till he leaves. Nobody cares about him leaving. For him to say we want to act like Toby Hall and leave, nobody’s doing that. Trust me. Me personally? Tell him this is a direct statement from me; I will come say it directly to his face. If he wants to know, if he is not sure about anything, I’ll say it directly to his face. I’d be more than happy to say it to his face. Make sure he gets that.'’

The fact that Delmon just smiled and shook his head at this makes me proud. For a player who everyone says still needs to mature, I think he is doing a very good job of showing us he is trying very hard to be the grown-up, professional player we're expecting.

Delmon, you get massive Brownie Points for this.

Also, Gardy gets points for his comment about the Indians signing Jason Tyner (who I miss almost as much as Johan and Torii): "They must've been one home run shy of their quota."

Here's hoping that Jason knocks another out of the park this year.

And also, a loltwin.

I made fun of Joe(s) for long enough, it was time to cover another J. Kubes should probably be next.

Spring Training loltwin

2008-02-22T00:55:00.002-05:00

Rick Anderson is my hero.

Operation: Retrieve Sampler

2008-02-20T16:31:00.004-05:00

“Hey guys, have you seen Joe?”

Michael Cuddyer, Justin Morneau, and Joe Mauer all looked up from their brown-bag lunches at Kevin Slowey, who was standing before them, looking rather perplexed.

“He’s right here,” Cuddy said slowly, giving Kevin a strange look.

Joe Mauer raised an eyebrow as well—surely Kevin could detect his studliness from such close range.

“No, the other Joe.”

“Oh,” Justin said, “Yeah I saw him and Matt Guerrier leaving to get lunch…yesterday.”

A series of rather un-easy and confused looks were thrown ‘round the quartet.

“Where the heck did they go?” Joe wondered aloud.

“Beats me,” Kevin said with a sigh.

Meanwhile, somewhere between Texas and Mexico…

“Joe, I really don’t think this is the best idea…” Matt Guerrier muttered as they sped down a long stretch of empty highway.

Joe Nathan looked at Matt and raised an eyebrow. “Why not? He needs to get to Spring Training!”

Matt winced. “Well, obviously, but he’s got to do it legally!”

Joe scoffed. “Says who?”

“The law.”

As far as Joe Nathan was concerned, he was the law. He was Joe Nathan, Closer Extraordinaire. Really, he thought, he should have business cards that said that.

“People sneak across the border all the time,” he reasoned as he turned the wheel slightly, the large pick-up truck he’d commandeered hugging the road.

“That doesn’t make it a good idea,” Matt told him. “He needs his visa, and a passport.”

Joe grinned. “I’ve got you covered.”

The twitchiest of pitchers tossed a manila envelope into his companion's lap from the confines of his warm up jacket.

Matt picked it up hesitantly, giving Joe a worried look before opening it and letting it’s contents slide out into his hand.

“Passport,” Joe stated with a grin, obviously pleased with himself. “Dennys is covered.”

Matt raised an eyebrow then flipped the passport over. “Joe,” he blanched, “this is a Canadian passport!” He opened it. “This is Justin’s Canadian passport!”

“I know—it’s foolproof. Nobody hates Canada, they’re neutral!”

“I’m pretty sure that’s Switzerland.”

Joe shrugged his massive shoulders. “Same difference, nobody cares about them either.”

Matt blinked, and then shook his head fiercely. “Joe. You cannot sneak Dennys into the US with Justin’s passport. Dennys is most definitely not a—” he opened Justin’s passport and read the first page, “—six-foot-four, 225 pound, white male.”

Joe waved a hand. “They don’t check that stuff anyways.”

Matt resisted the urge to slap himself. “Yes. Yes they do. It’s the border patrol. It's their job.”

“Here,” Joe said, pulling something else out of his windbreaker. “Put that on over Justin’s picture.”

Joe had handed Matt a thumb-sized sticker—Dennys Reyes’ team photo.

“It’ll work—trust me,” Joe said firmly at Matt’s worried and confused look.

Matt stared at his closing pitcher. The man, despite his twitchiness and scary stare, was amazing, but also, he was apparently nuts. Matt wondered if maybe the pressure of signing and all was getting to him. He had been twitchier of late.

Matt sighed, and then removed the paper backing and placed the photo-sticker of Dennys Reyes on top of Justin Morneau’s photo.

“Good boy,” Joe said.

The pair drove in silence until the border of Mexico came into view.

“Joe?” Matt asked.

“Yeah?”

“Why’d you have to bring me?”

Joe blinked and looked at him as he slowed the car to a halt. “Who else’d I bring?”

“Pat?” Matt listed.

Joe shook his head. “No way,” he said, “Pat’s music gives me the creeps.” He shuddered in the drivers seat.

Matt couldn’t help but to agree.

Still, he really didn’t think this was the best of plans, and he was starting to feel as twitchy as Joe in the 9th inning after walking the first two batters. Hopefully, the two of them would be able to pull of a miraculous save.

…Or retrieval of Dennys Reyes.

Spring Training loltwin, Take Two

2008-02-19T23:33:00.002-05:00

So I know I already made fun of Joe Mauer once today, but really, I just couldn't resist this one too:

It definitely looks like that's what he's saying....

Spring Training loltwin

2008-02-19T13:36:00.003-05:00

Because this picture was just too good.

This Makes Me Sad

2008-02-16T19:57:00.004-05:00

As Nick said...there is nothing more depressing than this picture if you're a Twins fan...

I miss Johan, and this does depress me.

Exposed! Government/Republican Plot Against the Twins

2008-02-16T17:41:00.011-05:00

Bush: Well... we've already pissed off most of the world but I still feel the need to piss more people off, but how?
Rice: We could target America's most beloved sport.
Bush: NASCAR?!?!?!
Rice: Of course not! Baseball. But not the Yankees... we like them. Let's target the nice and down to earth teams... like... THE TWINS!
Bush: That sounds like a lot of work... and I'm already late for my afternoon nap.
Rice: Oh not worry, I'll take care of everything... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Bush: COOL! Wanna read me a story, get me a warm glass of milk and get my Yankee's blanket? You know I can't fall asleep without them.

The Target:

The Amazing Francisco Liriano

The Plot:
Keep Liriano out of the country as long as possible. That way the Twins starting rotation will be headlined by Scotty Baker and Boof Bonser. Thus, slowly torturing and causing severe metal and dare I say, physical pain to any and all Twins fans in the world.

"As part of a memorandum passed by Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice last summer, visa applicants must be referred to panel physicians if they "have a single drunk driving arrest or conviction within the last three calendar years." The applicants must undergo a counseling session and also pass a sobriety test."

Ok, so in all honesty, Liriano shouldn't have been drinking under the influence. BUT (and I'm not condoning the behavior in any way, shape, or form) I think the need to be referred to "panel physicians" is kinda extreme and totally unnecessary. Come on! I would stake my savings account on the notation that if Liriano was a Yankee (THANK GOD HE'S NOT) or a Red Sox, this would not be happening. If he had the last name Wang or Sabathia or Matsuzaka or Santana (can I say that yet? Or is it still too soon?) this wouldn't be happening, some phone calls would be made and everyone would just be on their merry way. It's just another way of kicking a dog when it's already down. Way to stick it to the little guys government! Congrats.

DOES THE U.S. GOVERNMENT NOT REALIZE WHAT TYPE OF ROTATION THEY'RE LEAVING US WITH?!?!?!

After all the setbacks, heartache and pain this organization has caused me over the off season we can add the government (who have also cause me heartache and pain over the last...I'm gonna say, 8ish years) to the list of people that have pissed me off.

Pride Mound

2008-02-16T16:24:00.006-05:00

The sun was rising slowly over Hammond Stadium, casting the field in soft golden hues. The stadium was silent and peaceful—mostly because it was way too early for anyone to be awake and ready to play baseball.

In the dark morning light, two figures made their way from the clubhouse out to the center of the infield. The first figure proceeded across the field with determined steps, his slightly husky figure stopping dead center in front of the pitchers mound. The second came up slowly behind him, tall and lanky, and looking no older than thirteen.

“Well, Scotty,” the first man said as the sun continued to rise over the field, “this is all yours now.”

“Really, Gardy?” Scotty sounded doubtful, almost hesitant. “You’re sure?”

“Yep,” Gardy replied, hands on his hips.

Scotty stared around, scanning the entire field, looking more and more nervous.

“You’re the new ace, Scotty,” Gardy told the pre-teen, “this is your territory.”

The sun had continued to rise, and the field was now illuminated.

“Everything the light touches, Scotty, is your kingdom,” Gardy said, his voice deep and rumbling.

Scotty’s frightened face turned into one of awe.

Everything?

Light touched an awful lot. “Like the BMW I want?” Scotty questioned. Light had been touching it when he looked at it at the dealership. He was getting excited now.

Gardy resisted the urge to slap himself. “No, not like that—like the field.”

“Not the Ping driver I saw yesterday?” It was a $500.00 driver. He'd really like to not pay for it, if he could.

“No.”

“Are you sure? You did say everything the light touches.”

“It was a metaphor, Scotty. Haven’t you ever seen The Lion King?” Gardy seemed slightly exasperated.

Scotty blinked, then looked rather sheepish. “Yeah, but I don’t like it very much—I don’t like when Mufasa dies.”

“None of us do,” Gardy assured him, patting him comfortingly on the back. “But what I was trying to get to here, Scotty, is that now that you’re the new ace and Frankie can’t get into the country, and Boof can’t last more than two innings, you’ve got to rule the field.”

“Like a lion?” Scotty was trying his best to stick with The Lion King theme. “Am I—am I Simba?”

Scotty was in awe once again. Because if he was Simba, born to inherit the kingdom, that made Johan Mufasa, and the thought of Johan dying was almost as painful as the fact that he went to the Mets.

“Something like that,” Gardy said.

He was beginning to feel like maybe this had been the wrong way to try and explain things to Scotty.

“Wow. I never thought this day would come,” Scotty admitted.

“Me neither… but it has, Scotty, and you need to be prepared to lead the team to victory on the mound. Do you think you can handle that?”

Really, it was a lot of pressure to put on a twelve year-old.

“I mean, I guess,” Scotty said, “since it’s my destiny and all to inherit the field.”

He looked back out on the field and imagined the future: he threw powerful curve balls and fast balls too fast for the best of hitters. He saw himself getting double-play balls even when they weren’t needed. He threw no-hitters like it was his JOB… it was glorious.

“Good,” Gardy said. He was starting to feel exhausted. And he seriously hoped Scotty didn’t follow The Lion King metaphor all season. There was really only so far you could take it.

“One question though,” Scotty said, suddenly sounding concerned. He’d realized a flaw in his Lion King-like future.

“Yeah?”

“If I’m Simba, I’m going to need an advisor—and a crazy monkey that knows my destiny.”

Gardy stared at Scotty. He looked too earnest to let down. “I’ll talk to Cuddy and Red.”

---

Because if anyone is going to be Zazu, it's Cuddy Bear, and if anyone is going to be a crazy, red-butted monkey, it's Mike Redmond.

Spring Training T-Minus 2 Days! Let the rotation shuffle begin...

2008-02-14T13:34:00.007-05:00

Soon the end of the void in my life that is the off season will come to an end. Hell yes.

But, as we all know, the start of spring training means the answer of some pretty important questions...

WHO THE HELL IS IN THE ROTATION?

Here are my picks

The prodigy is back, baby. As in the return of Francisco Liriano. WHOLE LOTTA! It seems as though with the "trade-that-must-not-be-named" (that's my new name for the Santana trade, even though I'm strangely optimistic about it... which is completely out of character for me...) Liriano is more than prepared to step into the gaping hole left by Santana. The man went 12-3 with an ERA of 2.16! That, my friend, is what I call starter for opening day material. I know the whole surgery thing might put him in contention for the starting rotation for the Red Wings, but I fully believe that the trade-that-must-not-be-named lit a fire under this kid. If Santana was still here, I feel like the NEED for Liriano wasn't immediate but now... it is. We need a dominating force on the mound and, honestly, a batter is not going to be intimidated by Baker or Boof... it's just not going to happen. Liriano has been throwing at full velocity and has been working other pitches to lay off his slider and stay healthy. Minnesota, meet your new ace.
In my last post I said that the Twins need to find experience. They must have finally woken up and started taking my advice (although starting this back before Thanksgiving would have been a better time... then we might still have Hunter and Santana) because they signed Livan Hernandez. While I can't pretend to know that much about him, I'm all down for 11 years of experience with a career record of 134-128, a world series ring (which he was named MVP) and a career ERA of 4.25. Hey, I'll take it any day.
What can I say about Scott Baker... he improved ten-fold this last season. 9-9 with an ERA of 4.20 isn't half bad considering in 2006 he was 5-8 with an ERA of 6.37. Not only have his stats improved but the kid (that's right I said kid, when I look older than someone I have no problem calling them kid) had a no-no going into the 9th! Can someone say improvement? Because I can. He makes a strong #3 in the rotation and I think he'll be one of the stabilizers in this season.
Kevin Slowey, the new Brad Radke. He's an innings eater and showed that he doesn't crack under pressure. In his rookie season went 4-1 in a total of 13 games both as a starter and out of the pen. In a year or two, he's gonna be a strong presence in the rotation. On a side note, he speaks like 4 languages. I love this man, enough said.
The fifth starter could be anyone's guess, my hope is that one of the pitchers that we got from the Mets so that all the naysayers of the trade-that-must-not-be-named can eat their words. Right now though, I'm pretty sure that the fifth spot is going to be shared quite often by those traveling up and down from triple A. Right now I feel that Nick Blackbrun or Glen Perkins might be getting the call to start the season there, but I bet anything that we'll be seeing Philip Humber and Brian Bass too this season.

*Note that no where in my picks for the starting rotation will you find Boof Bonser (although I did mention him, but that was just to make fun of him). I refuse to accept his presence on the team. I'm just now totally ignoring him because for some reason the Twins feel the need to keep him around. I don't know why...

SPRING TRAINING! YES!

Cuddy Bear...?

2008-02-13T21:21:00.004-05:00

This is why you DON'T mess with Michael Cuddyer:

He is not afraid to come up behind you, thrown you down, and choke you.

...Just kidding. I heart you, Cuddy. This picture, however, is just so good on so many levels.

The Santana Trade

2008-02-13T14:54:00.005-05:00

Ok, so I think that the trade of the century needs to be addressed. The more I read blogs on the web about how the Twins made the biggest mistake ever, the more I get pissed off. Yes, the trade didn't get us the big names that had been thrown around--no Lester, no Hughes... but it did give us 4 very talented but very young players. If the Twins know how to do anything, it's taking young players and teaching them the trade and turn them into all-stars.

The biggest and best example I can think of this is Johan. We pick him up through a RULE 5 DRAFT! Was he an all-star before coming to Minnesota? No! He was pitching out of the pen! Granted, he's always had so much natural talent and an amazing work ethic but it's the Twins' pitching staff that created him into the 20-games-a-season-winning-2-time-cy-young-award-winner-all-around-bad-ass that he is. Rick Anderson is arguably one of the best pitching coaches in baseball and the Twins have put so much in their farm system, I have complete and total faith in the fact that the Twins' system has the ability to create amazing players. Look at players like Hunter, Mauer, Cuddyer and Morneau; in that group you have 4 all-stars, an MVP, 7 golden gloves, batting title champ and two silver slugger awards. All have been spotted by the Twins, signed and sent though the system. Then their are the scouts that have found Liriano, Santana and Nathan. We obviously have an eye for picking out the talent and then we have the ability to turn it into something great.

Although I might be extremely worried about our rotation this season and, in all honesty, I might still be worried about it next season. But my worries do not stem from lack of talent (except for Boof... WHY IS THAT MAN STILL ON THE TEAM?!?!?) they stem from the fact that none of the pitchers vying for a spot in the rotation are experienced. Over time we're going to have an amazing rotation, we saw signs of it last season--Scotty's near no-no and Slowey's 4-1 record.

The promise is there... to have consistency it's just going to take time.

So to all those that are saying that the Twins just made the worst trade in the history of trades... suck it.

Dear LNP...

2008-02-11T22:44:00.000-05:00

Dear Nick Punto,

I know the season has yet to start, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m rooting for you.

Really—you’re my favorite Twin under 5’10”.

I’m hoping for some more amazing catches and crazy behind the back throws this year. And maybe some more leap-frogging.

And head first slides.

But…no more bunting.

Please.

Really, Nicky, I hate to say it, but you’re going to have to step it up this year at Spring Training.

C’mon, remember when you used to bat second? I do. They were glorious days. But it looks like they’re trying to put some new guys in your turf. I mean—Mike Lamb? That name does not strike fear into balls that fly into the hot corner like ‘Nick Punto’ does. The guy isn’t even a piranha! Not to mention, he looks real scary in his roster picture...

I think you should shoot for 2nd base. You’ve got quick hands and a good arm. And the leap-frogging.

I guess, Nicky, all I’m trying to say is that if you don’t somehow have a spot in the line-up this season, my heart will be broken. You were my first Bat-Girl style Boyfriend.

And those ties run deep.

All I’m tryin’ to say is, Nicky, I want you to be back in the top of the line-up.

But, no matter what, no bunting.

Please?

Love,
L

Where in the World is... Matt Guerrier?

2008-02-08T16:21:00.001-05:00

So, after reading the projected batting order on Lipgloss and Baseball, and then checking it out of the actual Twins site... I noticed that Shaggy is no where in the bullpen.

WHY THE HELL NOT?! Have we forgotten that we like him? That he had a decent ERA last year?

Dennys? Really guys?

This disgruntles me.

So here, have a loltwin:

LNP...what was this?

It's why you're not in the projected batting order, that's what.

A Little Bit of...Optimism?

2008-02-06T13:37:00.000-05:00

Moneypenny and I have a mutual friend who is currently gallivanting around Europe with a sword, and she said something to me today that made me wonder why it didn't occur to me before:

"As I said before, if we cant win the World Series when we have the best players in the league, maybe we can win it if we DON'T have the best players in the league. I have faith in the twins."

Well said.

While I am not entirely optimistic about the upcoming season (SPRING TRAINING: T-MINUS 10 DAYS!), I'm not completely pessimistic about it either. Hopefully we can work things out during Spring Training.

Really, I am trying to be optimistic about it.

I feel like as long as I don't see Boof pitch, I'll be okay.

loltwins

2008-02-05T23:14:00.001-05:00

This is what happens when I find ridiculous pictures of Nick Punto.

There are more waiting in the wings...and if anyone has any funny pictures of any of the Twins...send 'em my way.

"Believe it"

2008-02-05T07:42:00.000-05:00

Johan Santana released a wonderfully sentimental statement, which you can find here, courtesy of La Velle E. Neal's blog (which is where I stole this wonderful picture from).

It makes me want to cry.

Ads Trump Championships

2008-02-04T14:25:00.001-05:00

First and foremost, I would like to congratulate Moneypenny on her first blog post.

It WAS about damn time.

Secondly, I would like to congratulate the NY Giants on their Super Bowl title. I don't even like football and I got into the game yesterday. Living in Boston, Pats fan are everywhere-- they sell shirts outside Fenway that say 'Peyton Manning Sucks', and even ones that just say 'Eli Sucks Too'-- and I was glad to see the Giants ruin their perfect season. The Pats are cheaters. And I don't like cheaters.

Plus, I think Eli Manning is adorable.

It was an intense game, with a lot of complexity to it...well, as much complexity that football can have, any ways.

I liked when they would show Peyton Manning up in one of the booths-- he'd get so excited for his little bro. I am looking forward to more ads with the Manning brothers. One of my all-time favorite is Peyton's Mastercard ad... Rub some dirt in it!

Speaking of ads, the official Twins site has a new ad out for the '08 campaign. Let me be the first one to say our marketing team is brilliant. I love the Twins ads. The ad with Joe and Johan driving to the Dome last year was one of the best. I've shown them to people out here, and they all tell me they wish the Sox had cool ads.

World Series rings? Psht. We have cool ads.

With the Super Bowl out of the way now, the countdown to baseball season begins (unless, of course, you're a hockey fan...or basketball...) The Twins pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training in T-minus 12 days.

Finally.

It's about damn time I wrote something...

2008-02-04T13:29:00.000-05:00

Let me start out by saying that not all of my posts will be like this... but there are a few things I need to get off my chest. As a diehard Twins fan I think I've earned that much.

I start this blog with a heavy heart. It seems as though we are on the eve of one of the worst seasons of Twins baseball in Minnesota history. I men, honestly, the fact that now Scott "Scotty doesn't know" Baker being the new Twins ace is not all that reassuring AND the whole no center fielder thing kinda worries me (I know we have Carlos Gomez now... but lets face it, he probably still needs time in triple A). And to top it all off the Twins feel the need to put out an "official press release" to let the fans know that Boof has lost 20 pounds... OH MY GOD WHY IS THAT MAN STILL ON OUR TEAM?!?!? I could care less if over the winter he magically transformed his body to look like Brad Pitt in Troy, it's just not happening. I could throw a better fastball. Hell, my 4 year old cousin could throw a better fast ball. If you suck in the 1st inning, you're going to suck in the 7th--regardless if you now have the ability to get there.

Another Twins move that pissed me off... the signing of Adam Everett. Why? I mean he seems like a nice guy (although he does look like he's 12, but that gives young Scotty a new friend to color and play hide-and-seek with) but... MOVE PUNTO TO SHORTSTOP! It is a defensive position! That is Punto in a nutshell, the man deserves an award named after him. I've seen him drive into the third row to make a catch. I've seen him make bare handed catches and then throw across the diamond. Isn't that what you want your shortstop to do? Why put a perfectly good player on the bench and sign a free agent? I know his batting average was low... but the goal of shortstop is to take away hits from the other team... not necessarily make them at your at-bats.

Don't even get me started with the Torii Hunter thing. I'm still pissed about that. The news of him signing with the Angels totally ruined my Thanksgiving... I holiday that is now no longer my favorite because of the memory of that day. I was at his final home game as a Twins, there are no words to describe what it was like. Every time that man stepped onto the field there was a standing ovation. I still get chills thinking about it. He was a once in a life time player, a true gentleman. He was my generation's Kriby. Now he's gone and on opening day I get to watch him come out smiling on the field with the same 48 on his back, but this time watch him take home runs and doubles away from my beloved Twins. It's blasphemy and I'll be crying on the inside when I see it.

Then there's Johan, the man, the legend, one badass dude. Gone. Just like Torii. I think the trade was ok. For this season it sucked. I will be interested in seeing how Gomez does and if he starts as our new center fielder but the other 3 will still need plenty of time in the minors. I think in a few years the trade might pan out, but for now it's just a waiting game. Right now we need experience in our rotation... I hope to God the Twins are trying to sign some free agent.

I guess for now we'll just have to wait and see. The 2008 season right now can be summed up like this... HOLY FRICK WE ARE GOING TO HAVE PROBLEMS! But somehow I still keep the faith. How? I have no idea... but it's there.

It's Officially Official...

2008-02-02T18:39:00.000-05:00

Dave St. Peter sent me an e-mail today in regards to the Johan trade. No, not a personal e-mail, but how cool would that be? It was kind of like that letter of apology The Mets sent out at the end of last season to their fans. It's official now, everyone has passed their physicals (not like we didn't think Johan wouldn't pass).

It made me sad how the franchise felt the need to say that we reached out to Johan, but ultimately Johan and his agent said ‘no’:

“As the club has stated many times, our first choice was to sign Johan to a contract extension ensuring he remained in a Twins uniform for years to come. Despite the largest multi-year offer in Twins history - one which would have rewarded Johan with the highest annual salary among all pitchers in Baseball - the team and Johan's representatives respectfully were unable to reach agreement.”

It seemed a little underhanded, but that’s just me.

It was nice to see some more stats on our new acquisitions, though. I read a nice interview with Carlos Gomez, and he seems like a good kid. I'm willing to accept him into the Twins family.

"This is my opportunity to be a center fielder… I have to prepare for a new organization, but I'm ready. The only thing I want is to play baseball and play every day…I don't want to say I can play like Torii, that guy is unbelievable, I'm just going to be Carlos Gomez. But I think I can play center. I have speed, I like to hustle and I like to slide. I think I play a good center field and hopefully the fans will get to see that."

He seems pretty excited and determined, and has a generally optimistic attitude about his new team. Really, we couldn’t ask for anything more…unless he can throw a mean slider left-handed.

Torii was also quoted in this same interview, and I was pretty touched by what he had to say.

"I don't think they are rebuilding. I think they are trying to put pieces in place around Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau and Michael Cuddyer. I think the bullpen is still the same. The starters, they are going to be young, but they are talented. This team has many of the right pieces already in place."

I’m glad to know he still loves us, and I’d really like to believe him about the not-rebuilding thing.

We do still have a lot of our clutch players. Mike Redmond is nothing if not clutch. I’m sure if we asked him to, he’d go out and pitch a few innings, then go out to center and climb the baggie for balls. Cuddy is consistent, both at the plate and in the outfield. Canada is still MVP worthy. And despite Joe’s rather rocky season last year, I have hope he can rebound.

Our bullpen is still strong, but I won’t try and tell you I’m not nervous as hell about our starting rotation (aka... Scotty as our ace and Boof as a permanent fixture IN said rotation). I’m hoping to see some of it at Spring Training, and then after that offer my opinion. I'm hoping Frankie can come back this season and pitch, and I've got great hope for Kevin Slowey (who is my new boyfriend now that Matt's gone).

I’ve just noticed that on the official Twins site, the cartoons/pictures at the top of the web page have been replaced.

I especially like the Gardy.

Farewell, Johan-- A New Era Begins

2008-01-29T22:58:00.000-05:00

When I think of Johan Santana, I don’t think only of a two time Cy Young pitcher, or our ace in the hole. I think of the smiling man who shaved Bert Blyleven’s head after a bet. I think of the man who’d wear his cap backwards and dance around in the dugout. I think of the man who always went out and gave his all for the team, no matter what the circumstances. I think of the pitcher who told his 3rd baseman not to worry about ground balls by the mound. I think of the man who was ‘en fuego’ both on and off the field. I think of the man who loved to take at bats, and who was forever telling his manager to put him in the line-up. I think of the Johan Santana that was the face of the Minnesota Twins.

This trade doesn’t come as a shock to any of us, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Losing Torii Hunter earlier this off-season hurt—and losing Johan hurts even more. It seems our team is falling apart before our eyes, with our key players—the faces of our franchise—disappearing before we are really ready to say good-bye to them.

It’s hard to admit that we need to rebuild, and I personally wish we could just do all the rebuilding with the same old pieces. But this is baseball, and it’s a business as much as it is a passion inducing sport. This year was rough for us, made rougher by a lot of the unexpected trades that took place. But trades happen whether we want them to or not, something we’ve all learned the hard way this year with Luis Castillo, and then Matt Garza and Jason Bartlett. And just like trades, the periods of reformation and rebuilding come when we don't always expect them.

On opening day, we won’t see the same familiar faces on the field; there’ll be Delmon Young (who will hopefully refrain from throwing any bats), Adam Everett and Mike Lamb, Carlos Gomez…

The beginning of a new, hopefully successful era, is soon to begin in the Twins organization.

I know a lot of fans out there, even those who aren’t Twins fans, who think this trade was not the best of choices. People think the Twins management left the offers sit on the table too long, with teams who were not willing to be backed into the corner. I personally think we could have gotten more for the best pitcher in baseball, but as I’m not the general manager of the Twins, I guess what I say or would have done doesn’t really count. As fans, there's nothing we can do, and if we sit and dwell on all the trades that could have been made, should have been made, should never have been made...well, we just won't get anywhere. It's part of being a fan; hopefully we'll all come out of this with our undying loyalty to the Twins still intact.

I keep telling myself that we’re rebuilding, that it’s going to be okay, but…it’s hard to believe.

I wish Johan the best of luck with the Mets, I really do—I think he’ll look good in their snazzy black uniforms, and we all know he’s going to have a blast hitting out there. He grew frustrated with the organization when they traded Luis, a feeling of unhappiness that I think grew as the season progressed. He will probably be very happy out there with the Metropolitans, which is what I hope for. The fact that we won’t have to face him often is going to help avoid some hurt, as well (unlike with Torii, who will be on our field on opening day at center, wearing the number '48'…only in an Angels uniform).

Here’s to 2008, I guess: the first year of the Post Santana-Hunter Era.

Let’s hope we can rebuild this team right.

The Trade We've All Been Waiting For

2008-01-29T17:46:00.000-05:00

...is apparently in the works. I'm not going to say much about it till it's official, but I think it's safe to say that next season, Johan will be wearing a Mets uniform. I feel like he'll look very good in their black ones.

The Littlest Piranha

2008-01-29T17:16:00.000-05:00

As the days till Spring Training wind down, (18 days, if you're not counting...) something sad has come to my attention…

Nick Punto is now the only remaining piranha (or ‘pirantha’ if you’d like to stay true to Ozzie Guillen’s original wording) in a once four-man school of flesh-devouring fish...or baseball players. With the loss of Luis Castillo to the Mets last season, our school numbered three. And now, with Jason Bartlett down in Tampa and Jason Tyner released to Limbo, Little Nicky swims alone.

It’s got to be tough, being the littlest fish in the sea, but being the only fish has got to be even tougher.

I mean, now that Jason Barlett is gone, who’s going to go swim in the shark tank at Underwater World with LNP? Who’s going not going to hit more than one home run in a season with him? Who’s going to be scrappy in the hot corner? I feel that these are pressing questions…

That, and who do you think would win in a fight—a stingray or a piranha?

Cuddy and Canada LOCKED. UP.

2008-01-25T18:35:00.000-05:00

VICTORY!!!

Guerrier To Pitch Another Year

2008-01-24T17:56:00.000-05:00

Thank God.

Today Matt Guerrier (from here on out he will be referred to as 'Shaggy') signed a one-year, $950,000, deal to avoid arbitration. Now we have at least two solid relievers: him, and Side-Show Pat Neshek.

...I think this season will be one of those 'rebuilding seasons'.

In other official news, Cuddy is now the only Twin still in arbitration. They really need to check out that top 10 list...it's all critical, I mean it.

Trades are made on... a Hot Stove?

2008-01-24T10:51:00.000-05:00

The 'Hot Stove' has long been on of the baseball terms I just don't get. It seems awfully redundant-- of course if the stove is on, it's going to be hot. And WTF does a stove have to do with trades in baseball?

A lot, apparently.

The so called 'Hot Stove' has been relatively luke-warm for us Twins fans of late. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm definitely tired of hearing how the Yanks-Sox-Mets are going to score Johan. We've got less than 30 days until pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training, lets wrap this up fast.

Ideally, of course, we keep Johan. Which, since I don't see us getting exactly what we want for him, I think might happen. Really, it's a win-win for us-- if it's played right. To put it simply, we have what every one wants in Johan. It's annoying though, living literally in the center of Red Sox Nation and having to deal with the 'ZOMG, WE'RE GONNA GET JOHAN!!!!!11one'.

Hell no you're not, not unless you give me Tacoby Bellsbury AND Jon Lester AND whoever the hell else we want.

...and they don't even need him, anyway!

With the loss of Matt Garza-- who was so studly-- and Carlos Silva, we need pitching as much as we need a center fielder. Which is badly. Right now, all we have for starting pitching for sure is Scotty and Kevin Slowey.

I refuse to even think of Boof as anything but last-choice-relief right now.

Needless to say, this situation pains me.

The Top 10 Reasons We Need To Lock Up Michael Cuddyer

2008-01-23T18:55:00.000-05:00

10: He’s ‘Cuddy Bear’.

Once at a game, I was screaming ‘GO CUDDY!’ and the little boy next to me thought I was referring to TC…so he started screaming ‘GO CUDDY-BEAR!’, and his disgruntled father spent the rest of the game trying to tell the kid Cuddy was not the bear.

9: He has the best dimples on the team

Really, they're amazing.

8: He sings and dances while driving in his car

This is true, I've seen it.

7: Culvers Cuddy Buddy
Think how sad all those custard-eating kids would be?

6: He magics balls right outta’ the field
And he doesn't even need a magic word.

5: He waved at us while singing and dancing in his car
This is also true. His hat was on backwards, too.

4: He’s so very articulate
Makes you want one of those little white discs, huh? That, or David Wright.

3: He's Cuddy.
'Nough said.

2: He throws people out at home from right field.
Consistently.

And finally,

1: He takes Mike Redmond's kids to Chuck E. Cheese's.