As Nick said...there is nothing more depressing than this picture if you're a Twins fan...
I miss Johan, and this does depress me.
Feb 16, 2008
This Makes Me Sad
As Nick said...there is nothing more depressing than this picture if you're a Twins fan...
I miss Johan, and this does depress me.
Exposed! Government/Republican Plot Against the Twins
Bush: Well... we've already pissed off most of the world but I still feel the need to piss more people off, but how?
Rice: We could target America's most beloved sport.
Bush: NASCAR?!?!?!
Rice: Of course not! Baseball. But not the Yankees... we like them. Let's target the nice and down to earth teams... like... THE TWINS!
Bush: That sounds like a lot of work... and I'm already late for my afternoon nap.
Rice: Oh not worry, I'll take care of everything... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Bush: COOL! Wanna read me a story, get me a warm glass of milk and get my Yankee's blanket? You know I can't fall asleep without them.
Rice: We could target America's most beloved sport.
Bush: NASCAR?!?!?!
Rice: Of course not! Baseball. But not the Yankees... we like them. Let's target the nice and down to earth teams... like... THE TWINS!
Bush: That sounds like a lot of work... and I'm already late for my afternoon nap.
Rice: Oh not worry, I'll take care of everything... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Bush: COOL! Wanna read me a story, get me a warm glass of milk and get my Yankee's blanket? You know I can't fall asleep without them.
The Target:
The Amazing Francisco Liriano
The Plot:
Keep Liriano out of the country as long as possible. That way the Twins starting rotation will be headlined by Scotty Baker and Boof Bonser. Thus, slowly torturing and causing severe metal and dare I say, physical pain to any and all Twins fans in the world.
Keep Liriano out of the country as long as possible. That way the Twins starting rotation will be headlined by Scotty Baker and Boof Bonser. Thus, slowly torturing and causing severe metal and dare I say, physical pain to any and all Twins fans in the world.
"As part of a memorandum passed by Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice last summer, visa applicants must be referred to panel physicians if they "have a single drunk driving arrest or conviction within the last three calendar years." The applicants must undergo a counseling session and also pass a sobriety test."
Ok, so in all honesty, Liriano shouldn't have been drinking under the influence. BUT (and I'm not condoning the behavior in any way, shape, or form) I think the need to be referred to "panel physicians" is kinda extreme and totally unnecessary. Come on! I would stake my savings account on the notation that if Liriano was a Yankee (THANK GOD HE'S NOT) or a Red Sox, this would not be happening. If he had the last name Wang or Sabathia or Matsuzaka or Santana (can I say that yet? Or is it still too soon?) this wouldn't be happening, some phone calls would be made and everyone would just be on their merry way. It's just another way of kicking a dog when it's already down. Way to stick it to the little guys government! Congrats.
DOES THE U.S. GOVERNMENT NOT REALIZE WHAT TYPE OF ROTATION THEY'RE LEAVING US WITH?!?!?!
After all the setbacks, heartache and pain this organization has caused me over the off season we can add the government (who have also cause me heartache and pain over the last...I'm gonna say, 8ish years) to the list of people that have pissed me off.
Pride Mound
The sun was rising slowly over Hammond Stadium, casting the field in soft golden hues. The stadium was silent and peaceful—mostly because it was way too early for anyone to be awake and ready to play baseball.
In the dark morning light, two figures made their way from the clubhouse out to the center of the infield. The first figure proceeded across the field with determined steps, his slightly husky figure stopping dead center in front of the pitchers mound. The second came up slowly behind him, tall and lanky, and looking no older than thirteen.
“Well, Scotty,” the first man said as the sun continued to rise over the field, “this is all yours now.”
“Really, Gardy?” Scotty sounded doubtful, almost hesitant. “You’re sure?”
“Yep,” Gardy replied, hands on his hips.
Scotty stared around, scanning the entire field, looking more and more nervous.
“You’re the new ace, Scotty,” Gardy told the pre-teen, “this is your territory.”
The sun had continued to rise, and the field was now illuminated.
“Everything the light touches, Scotty, is your kingdom,” Gardy said, his voice deep and rumbling.
Scotty’s frightened face turned into one of awe.
Everything?
Light touched an awful lot. “Like the BMW I want?” Scotty questioned. Light had been touching it when he looked at it at the dealership. He was getting excited now.
Gardy resisted the urge to slap himself. “No, not like that—like the field.”
“Not the Ping driver I saw yesterday?” It was a $500.00 driver. He'd really like to not pay for it, if he could.
“No.”
“Are you sure? You did say everything the light touches.”
“It was a metaphor, Scotty. Haven’t you ever seen The Lion King?” Gardy seemed slightly exasperated.
Scotty blinked, then looked rather sheepish. “Yeah, but I don’t like it very much—I don’t like when Mufasa dies.”
“None of us do,” Gardy assured him, patting him comfortingly on the back. “But what I was trying to get to here, Scotty, is that now that you’re the new ace and Frankie can’t get into the country, and Boof can’t last more than two innings, you’ve got to rule the field.”
“Like a lion?” Scotty was trying his best to stick with The Lion King theme. “Am I—am I Simba?”
Scotty was in awe once again. Because if he was Simba, born to inherit the kingdom, that made Johan Mufasa, and the thought of Johan dying was almost as painful as the fact that he went to the Mets.
“Something like that,” Gardy said.
He was beginning to feel like maybe this had been the wrong way to try and explain things to Scotty.
“Wow. I never thought this day would come,” Scotty admitted.
“Me neither… but it has, Scotty, and you need to be prepared to lead the team to victory on the mound. Do you think you can handle that?”
Really, it was a lot of pressure to put on a twelve year-old.
“I mean, I guess,” Scotty said, “since it’s my destiny and all to inherit the field.”
He looked back out on the field and imagined the future: he threw powerful curve balls and fast balls too fast for the best of hitters. He saw himself getting double-play balls even when they weren’t needed. He threw no-hitters like it was his JOB… it was glorious.
“Good,” Gardy said. He was starting to feel exhausted. And he seriously hoped Scotty didn’t follow The Lion King metaphor all season. There was really only so far you could take it.
“One question though,” Scotty said, suddenly sounding concerned. He’d realized a flaw in his Lion King-like future.
“Yeah?”
“If I’m Simba, I’m going to need an advisor—and a crazy monkey that knows my destiny.”
Gardy stared at Scotty. He looked too earnest to let down. “I’ll talk to Cuddy and Red.”
---
Because if anyone is going to be Zazu, it's Cuddy Bear, and if anyone is going to be a crazy, red-butted monkey, it's Mike Redmond.
In the dark morning light, two figures made their way from the clubhouse out to the center of the infield. The first figure proceeded across the field with determined steps, his slightly husky figure stopping dead center in front of the pitchers mound. The second came up slowly behind him, tall and lanky, and looking no older than thirteen.
“Well, Scotty,” the first man said as the sun continued to rise over the field, “this is all yours now.”
“Really, Gardy?” Scotty sounded doubtful, almost hesitant. “You’re sure?”
“Yep,” Gardy replied, hands on his hips.
Scotty stared around, scanning the entire field, looking more and more nervous.
“You’re the new ace, Scotty,” Gardy told the pre-teen, “this is your territory.”
The sun had continued to rise, and the field was now illuminated.
“Everything the light touches, Scotty, is your kingdom,” Gardy said, his voice deep and rumbling.
Scotty’s frightened face turned into one of awe.
Everything?
Light touched an awful lot. “Like the BMW I want?” Scotty questioned. Light had been touching it when he looked at it at the dealership. He was getting excited now.
Gardy resisted the urge to slap himself. “No, not like that—like the field.”
“Not the Ping driver I saw yesterday?” It was a $500.00 driver. He'd really like to not pay for it, if he could.
“No.”
“Are you sure? You did say everything the light touches.”
“It was a metaphor, Scotty. Haven’t you ever seen The Lion King?” Gardy seemed slightly exasperated.
Scotty blinked, then looked rather sheepish. “Yeah, but I don’t like it very much—I don’t like when Mufasa dies.”
“None of us do,” Gardy assured him, patting him comfortingly on the back. “But what I was trying to get to here, Scotty, is that now that you’re the new ace and Frankie can’t get into the country, and Boof can’t last more than two innings, you’ve got to rule the field.”
“Like a lion?” Scotty was trying his best to stick with The Lion King theme. “Am I—am I Simba?”
Scotty was in awe once again. Because if he was Simba, born to inherit the kingdom, that made Johan Mufasa, and the thought of Johan dying was almost as painful as the fact that he went to the Mets.
“Something like that,” Gardy said.
He was beginning to feel like maybe this had been the wrong way to try and explain things to Scotty.
“Wow. I never thought this day would come,” Scotty admitted.
“Me neither… but it has, Scotty, and you need to be prepared to lead the team to victory on the mound. Do you think you can handle that?”
Really, it was a lot of pressure to put on a twelve year-old.
“I mean, I guess,” Scotty said, “since it’s my destiny and all to inherit the field.”
He looked back out on the field and imagined the future: he threw powerful curve balls and fast balls too fast for the best of hitters. He saw himself getting double-play balls even when they weren’t needed. He threw no-hitters like it was his JOB… it was glorious.
“Good,” Gardy said. He was starting to feel exhausted. And he seriously hoped Scotty didn’t follow The Lion King metaphor all season. There was really only so far you could take it.
“One question though,” Scotty said, suddenly sounding concerned. He’d realized a flaw in his Lion King-like future.
“Yeah?”
“If I’m Simba, I’m going to need an advisor—and a crazy monkey that knows my destiny.”
Gardy stared at Scotty. He looked too earnest to let down. “I’ll talk to Cuddy and Red.”
---
Because if anyone is going to be Zazu, it's Cuddy Bear, and if anyone is going to be a crazy, red-butted monkey, it's Mike Redmond.
Feb 14, 2008
Spring Training T-Minus 2 Days! Let the rotation shuffle begin...
Soon the end of the void in my life that is the off season will come to an end. Hell yes.
But, as we all know, the start of spring training means the answer of some pretty important questions...
WHO THE HELL IS IN THE ROTATION?
Here are my picks
- The prodigy is back, baby. As in the return of Francisco Liriano. WHOLE LOTTA! It seems as though with the "trade-that-must-not-be-named" (that's my new name for the Santana trade, even though I'm strangely optimistic about it... which is completely out of character for me...) Liriano is more than prepared to step into the gaping hole left by Santana. The man went 12-3 with an ERA of 2.16! That, my friend, is what I call starter for opening day material. I know the whole surgery thing might put him in contention for the starting rotation for the Red Wings, but I fully believe that the trade-that-must-not-be-named lit a fire under this kid. If Santana was still here, I feel like the NEED for Liriano wasn't immediate but now... it is. We need a dominating force on the mound and, honestly, a batter is not going to be intimidated by Baker or Boof... it's just not going to happen. Liriano has been throwing at full velocity and has been working other pitches to lay off his slider and stay healthy. Minnesota, meet your new ace.
- In my last post I said that the Twins need to find experience. They must have finally woken up and started taking my advice (although starting this back before Thanksgiving would have been a better time... then we might still have Hunter and Santana) because they signed Livan Hernandez. While I can't pretend to know that much about him, I'm all down for 11 years of experience with a career record of 134-128, a world series ring (which he was named MVP) and a career ERA of 4.25. Hey, I'll take it any day.
- What can I say about Scott Baker... he improved ten-fold this last season. 9-9 with an ERA of 4.20 isn't half bad considering in 2006 he was 5-8 with an ERA of 6.37. Not only have his stats improved but the kid (that's right I said kid, when I look older than someone I have no problem calling them kid) had a no-no going into the 9th! Can someone say improvement? Because I can. He makes a strong #3 in the rotation and I think he'll be one of the stabilizers in this season.
- Kevin Slowey, the new Brad Radke. He's an innings eater and showed that he doesn't crack under pressure. In his rookie season went 4-1 in a total of 13 games both as a starter and out of the pen. In a year or two, he's gonna be a strong presence in the rotation. On a side note, he speaks like 4 languages. I love this man, enough said.
- The fifth starter could be anyone's guess, my hope is that one of the pitchers that we got from the Mets so that all the naysayers of the trade-that-must-not-be-named can eat their words. Right now though, I'm pretty sure that the fifth spot is going to be shared quite often by those traveling up and down from triple A. Right now I feel that Nick Blackbrun or Glen Perkins might be getting the call to start the season there, but I bet anything that we'll be seeing Philip Humber and Brian Bass too this season.
SPRING TRAINING! YES!
Feb 13, 2008
Cuddy Bear...?
This is why you DON'T mess with Michael Cuddyer:
He is not afraid to come up behind you, thrown you down, and choke you.
...Just kidding. I heart you, Cuddy. This picture, however, is just so good on so many levels.
He is not afraid to come up behind you, thrown you down, and choke you.
...Just kidding. I heart you, Cuddy. This picture, however, is just so good on so many levels.
The Santana Trade
Ok, so I think that the trade of the century needs to be addressed. The more I read blogs on the web about how the Twins made the biggest mistake ever, the more I get pissed off. Yes, the trade didn't get us the big names that had been thrown around--no Lester, no Hughes... but it did give us 4 very talented but very young players. If the Twins know how to do anything, it's taking young players and teaching them the trade and turn them into all-stars.
The biggest and best example I can think of this is Johan. We pick him up through a RULE 5 DRAFT! Was he an all-star before coming to Minnesota? No! He was pitching out of the pen! Granted, he's always had so much natural talent and an amazing work ethic but it's the Twins' pitching staff that created him into the 20-games-a-season-winning-2-time-cy-young-award-winner-all-around-bad-ass that he is. Rick Anderson is arguably one of the best pitching coaches in baseball and the Twins have put so much in their farm system, I have complete and total faith in the fact that the Twins' system has the ability to create amazing players. Look at players like Hunter, Mauer, Cuddyer and Morneau; in that group you have 4 all-stars, an MVP, 7 golden gloves, batting title champ and two silver slugger awards. All have been spotted by the Twins, signed and sent though the system. Then their are the scouts that have found Liriano, Santana and Nathan. We obviously have an eye for picking out the talent and then we have the ability to turn it into something great.
Although I might be extremely worried about our rotation this season and, in all honesty, I might still be worried about it next season. But my worries do not stem from lack of talent (except for Boof... WHY IS THAT MAN STILL ON THE TEAM?!?!?) they stem from the fact that none of the pitchers vying for a spot in the rotation are experienced. Over time we're going to have an amazing rotation, we saw signs of it last season--Scotty's near no-no and Slowey's 4-1 record.
The promise is there... to have consistency it's just going to take time.
So to all those that are saying that the Twins just made the worst trade in the history of trades... suck it.
Feb 11, 2008
Dear LNP...
Dear Nick Punto,
I know the season has yet to start, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m rooting for you.
Really—you’re my favorite Twin under 5’10”.
I’m hoping for some more amazing catches and crazy behind the back throws this year. And maybe some more leap-frogging.
And head first slides.
But…no more bunting.
Please.
Really, Nicky, I hate to say it, but you’re going to have to step it up this year at Spring Training.
C’mon, remember when you used to bat second? I do. They were glorious days. But it looks like they’re trying to put some new guys in your turf. I mean—Mike Lamb? That name does not strike fear into balls that fly into the hot corner like ‘Nick Punto’ does. The guy isn’t even a piranha! Not to mention, he looks real scary in his roster picture...
I think you should shoot for 2nd base. You’ve got quick hands and a good arm. And the leap-frogging.
I guess, Nicky, all I’m trying to say is that if you don’t somehow have a spot in the line-up this season, my heart will be broken. You were my first Bat-Girl style Boyfriend.
And those ties run deep.
All I’m tryin’ to say is, Nicky, I want you to be back in the top of the line-up.
But, no matter what, no bunting.
Please?
Love,
L
I know the season has yet to start, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m rooting for you.
Really—you’re my favorite Twin under 5’10”.
I’m hoping for some more amazing catches and crazy behind the back throws this year. And maybe some more leap-frogging.
And head first slides.
But…no more bunting.
Please.
Really, Nicky, I hate to say it, but you’re going to have to step it up this year at Spring Training.
C’mon, remember when you used to bat second? I do. They were glorious days. But it looks like they’re trying to put some new guys in your turf. I mean—Mike Lamb? That name does not strike fear into balls that fly into the hot corner like ‘Nick Punto’ does. The guy isn’t even a piranha! Not to mention, he looks real scary in his roster picture...
I think you should shoot for 2nd base. You’ve got quick hands and a good arm. And the leap-frogging.
I guess, Nicky, all I’m trying to say is that if you don’t somehow have a spot in the line-up this season, my heart will be broken. You were my first Bat-Girl style Boyfriend.
And those ties run deep.
All I’m tryin’ to say is, Nicky, I want you to be back in the top of the line-up.
But, no matter what, no bunting.
Please?
Love,
L
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