Exposed! Government/Republican Plot Against the Twins

Bush: Well... we've already pissed off most of the world but I still feel the need to piss more people off, but how?
Rice: We could target America's most beloved sport.
Bush: NASCAR?!?!?!
Rice: Of course not! Baseball. But not the Yankees... we like them. Let's target the nice and down to earth teams... like... THE TWINS!
Bush: That sounds like a lot of work... and I'm already late for my afternoon nap.
Rice: Oh not worry, I'll take care of everything... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Bush: COOL! Wanna read me a story, get me a warm glass of milk and get my Yankee's blanket? You know I can't fall asleep without them.

The Target:

The Amazing Francisco Liriano

The Plot:
Keep Liriano out of the country as long as possible. That way the Twins starting rotation will be headlined by Scotty Baker and Boof Bonser. Thus, slowly torturing and causing severe metal and dare I say, physical pain to any and all Twins fans in the world.

"As part of a memorandum passed by Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice last summer, visa applicants must be referred to panel physicians if they "have a single drunk driving arrest or conviction within the last three calendar years." The applicants must undergo a counseling session and also pass a sobriety test."

Ok, so in all honesty, Liriano shouldn't have been drinking under the influence. BUT (and I'm not condoning the behavior in any way, shape, or form) I think the need to be referred to "panel physicians" is kinda extreme and totally unnecessary. Come on! I would stake my savings account on the notation that if Liriano was a Yankee (THANK GOD HE'S NOT) or a Red Sox, this would not be happening. If he had the last name Wang or Sabathia or Matsuzaka or Santana (can I say that yet? Or is it still too soon?) this wouldn't be happening, some phone calls would be made and everyone would just be on their merry way. It's just another way of kicking a dog when it's already down. Way to stick it to the little guys government! Congrats.

DOES THE U.S. GOVERNMENT NOT REALIZE WHAT TYPE OF ROTATION THEY'RE LEAVING US WITH?!?!?!

After all the setbacks, heartache and pain this organization has caused me over the off season we can add the government (who have also cause me heartache and pain over the last...I'm gonna say, 8ish years) to the list of people that have pissed me off.